A Pen Without Ink
by KatherineLynn
Summary: When Beckett is shot, she starts to question her choices in life, mainly, her relationship with Josh. Caskett. R
1. Siren

A/N: Hello everyone in Castle-world! I'm Katherine, and I normally write Harry Potter fanfiction, and I used to dabble in Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. However, I have recently become obsessed with this show and Caskett. How could I not? Anyway, this is my first Caskett fanfiction, so I hope you'll be nice to me and maybe review.

Disclaimer: This delicious pairing isn't mine, but how I wish I had a Stana for my own.

Chapter One: Siren

Kate Beckett never realized how loud the sirens on police cars and ambulances were until she was riding in one. She lied back in the gurney, her eyes closed against the pain in her chest that radiated throughout her entire body. She had been grazed by a bullet before, in the left arm, but she had never actually been shot. She suddenly envied everyone she had ever shot. Tears streamed from her closed eyelids as the ambulance stopped at a red light.

Her heart started hurting more, and she gasped for air. She wrenched open her eyes, looking for something to hold onto, but saw nothing but the EMT that she didn't recognize and the wires tangling everywhere. Grey spots started forming around the edges of her vision. The EMT glanced quickly at the monitor that kept track of her heartbeat. It was speeding up. Her blood pressure was dropping.

"Get a move on, we're losing her!" he shouted to the driver. The man's face blurred into a mixture of colors as she faded into darkness.

Richard Castle prided himself on how he kept his cool. He was always…cool, calm, collected. Some people, like his daughter or his mother, might disagree, but that was because they had seen him at his worst. They didn't count right now. As he put one foot in front of the other faster than he had ever done before, Castle couldn't help but feel his 'cool' slipping away.

He almost slipped on the slick hospital floor, and he wrinkled his nose at the sterile smell of nurses and doctors. He took a turn too sharply and had to leap aside to dodge a gurney carrying a body bag. He gasped inwardly and shuddered, trying not to think of the possibility that Beckett was in that bag.

Finally, he found a nondescript waiting room with people he recognized. Everyone was a few shades paler than usual, and no one was speaking. Castle tried to keep his mind away from the possibility that they would only look this grave if…

"Where is she?" he asked, anguished. Ryan and Esposito looked up from where they were sitting, heads in hands, looking frightened. Captain Montgomery didn't even jump.

"She's going to be fine," he said in his soothing voice. He put a hand on Castle's shoulder, trying to steer him to a chair. Castle threw off his hand and started pacing.

"I need to see her," he said, running his hands through his hair for the hundredth time. "This is my fault, I have to see her!" He took a wild look around. "Where is she? Which room is she in?" Ryan and Esposito looked at him like he was a crazy man, with hints of pity on their normally smiling faces. They both knew the silent pain he was endearing, hoping that he would have a chance to see Kate again, that she was still alive, so he could tell her…he couldn't even wrap his mind around the thought.

An official looking man in a lab coat had joined them now. "Excuse me, are you here to see Katherine Beckett?"

"YES!" Castle practically shouted. Everyone turned to glare. Ryan even let out one grim chuckle at the awkward situation. Esposito elbowed him. The doctor didn't look amused, but flipped to a page on the chart in his hand and consulted his notes.

"Which one of you is Richard Castle?" the doctor asked.

"The apoplectic one," Montgomery muttered, resuming his seat. "I assume she's going to be okay?"

The doctor nodded. "She'll be fine, she just got out of surgery. She was extremely lucky." The entire group exhaled as one. Ryan wiped his eyes. Castle unclenched his jaw and fist. "Mr. Castle, she asked to speak to you first."

"Typical," Esposito muttered, his personality restored. "Give her a kiss for us!" he called to Castle's retreating back. Castle stumbled after the man in the coat, wondering what exactly he would say when he saw her. He wondered if he could hug her, or if she would be in too much pain. He wondered if she would be half-asleep and delirious from the drugs. He wondered so many things he didn't even remember how his feet carried him to that door.

She was attached to so many wires. Her beautiful face had the smallest traces of makeup on it, and she looked pale and terrified. But she hid it behind her usual bravado. She smiled at him when he came in, and she didn't look mad at all. She looked…grateful.

"First of all, I just want to say—" Castle began.

"Shut up, Rick."

He stopped short. "You…you called me Rick."

She nodded with a smirk. "I know. I wanted to get your attention."

He continued to stare, so she continued. "This was not your fault. If it hadn't been for you, we never would have found the killer. And we never would have caught him. And…and I find this the most important: I would be dead." Tears shone in her eyes at her last sentence, but she held them.

"Beckett, I—"

"If the next thing out of your mouth is going to be some sort of apology, I don't want to hear it." Suddenly, the strict Beckett was back, and Castle snapped his jaw closed. She fluttered her lashes at his silence and his neck got warm, and he knew his face was turning red. Beckett caused too many flushed cheeks.

"Okay, fine," he said. He sat gingerly on the side of her hospital bed, and she gently placed her hand on his knee. He grasped it tightly and held on like he would drift away.

She waited, but he never spoke. "What?" she asked, smiling sweetly. In a hospital bed, without her heels and blazer, she looked so much more tender and soft. He was itching just to touch her skin.

"Kate, you are—"

"Babe, are you okay?" a deep voice, scratchy and frantic, interrupted him. Castle closed his eyes and prayed for patience. The black leather jacket, the black hair, blue eyes filled the room with tension. Castle stared into Beckett's gorgeous eyes for a few seconds, waiting for her to speak. But what did he want her to say? He didn't even know what he wanted right now. When she didn't speak, he nodded and took his leave, without bothering to say goodbye.

Beckett watched him go as Josh gave her a kiss. Her heart ached in a way she couldn't quite place.

"What happened to you? Why didn't you call me? Did Castle have something to do with this?" he rattled off question after question, and soon, Beckett just tuned him out.

"Babe?"

"Sorry," she lied, "the meds are kicking in." He took hold of her hand and kissed her forehead.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" he asked.

Beckett glanced again at the doorway, and then turned her eyes on her boyfriend. "I guess I could do that," she said, and prepared to embark on the tale.


	2. Lines

A/N: So, not a whole ton of reviews, but I'm not picky. There were a TON of Author alert and Story alerts so that made me so happy! But, since there were a few reviewers, let me thank them personally: Jessimicah, thank you so much for your encouragement! Tansypool, I thought about that, but I disregarded it because I figured there would be some sort of traffic jam-thing in NYC of all places, but thank you for pointing that out. Kie Santiago, thank you so much! Thecatchisdeadliest, I hate Josh too...really. Bella Paige, you made my life! I loved your comment. Thank you so much for posting it on your FB group. I'm trying to promote on tumblr too. If anyone who reads this has tumblr, mine is .com. Or you can follow me on twitter QueenKatherineL.

Disclaimer: After that long Author's note, I'm sad to say none of these characters are mine.

Chapter Two: Lines

"Dad, come on, your phone is ringing," Alexis spooned some eggs onto her father's plate as he stared at the wall, his eyes half closed. "It's Beckett!" she sing-songed, waving the phone in front of his face. A picture of Kate Beckett, scowling as her usual, flew in front of his eyes.

He took the phone and pressed talk. "Hell-, I mean Castle?" he murmured sleepily.

"Did I wake you?" Beckett asked, more amused than apologetic.

"I wish," he said as Alexis put a cup of coffee in front of him, and two slices of bacon on his plate. "I just haven't been sleeping well." That much was true. Even Alexis had noticed that ever since Josh had come back into town, Castle just hadn't been sleeping. He would stay up half the night surfing channels or obsessing over a case file, but he was never writing. Alexis, though she would never say it aloud, speculated that he was slowly coming to terms about being in love with the only woman who wasn't fawning over him, and that same woman had a boyfriend.

"Well, you can just sit this one out, Castle, if you want. I can take care of it," Alexis heard her say. Immediately, Castle sat up a little straighter and sprinkled some cheese on his eggs.

"Nonsense, I'll be there in a few minutes with coffee," he said, sounding perky. He hung up the phone and manically spooned breakfast into his mouth.

"Dad, that's disgusting," Alexis wrinkled her nose as she placed the dishes in the sink. "You look like a garbage disposal."

"Honey, there's a body at the Upper East Side that I gotta get to," he said, gulping down coffee. "Ahh, hot!"

"Are you sure you should be doing this? You haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks," she asked, looking concerned.

"I'll be fine," he dismissed her with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

"You'll be fine because you'll be around Beckett," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" he asked, placing his mug in the sink.

"Oh nothing."

He looked perplexed, but kissed her temple. "Okay, have fun at school, sweetie!"

He ran out the door and slammed it closed. Alexis smiled and started washing the dishes. "It's Saturday, dad."

"What took you so long?" Beckett asked, taking her usual coffee cup from Castle as he skidded to a stop next to her. Even though it was chilly, she was wearing a plain black t-shirt, low cut and black pants, black boots, and her usual leather jacket. Castle shivered. She looked like the Black Widow from the comic books he had hidden in his room from his teenage years.

"Traffic," he said in lieu of an explanation. In reality, he had fallen asleep in the cab and the cabbie had to jerk him awake outside the crime scene.

"What do we got?" she asked Lanie, who was watching Castle's wandering eyes with a knowing smirk. Castle cleared his throat and looked up at the sky, pretending to find something incredibly interesting in the clouds.

"It's a pretty weird one," she said, turning over the victim. Castle had to stifle a gasp. The girl, who had been lying face down, was now facing up, beautiful green eyes wide open in terror. Her hands were clenched in fists, her neck clearly broken. But that wasn't the disgusting part.

"Is that her collarbone?" Beckett asked, no small amount of surprise and apprehension in her voice. Her throat and collarbone were completely exposed, like the skin had been torn roughly away.

Lanie hastened to explain. "Her neck was broken somehow, which is what killed her but there was a blockage in her throat, like she was choking, that would have killed her soon enough. My guess is the killer got impatient."

"Why is she half-buried?" Castle asked, tossing his full cup of coffee into the dumpster.

"She was buried under her mother's rose bushes," Lanie said, pushing aside a bushel of white roses. "The killer tried to get rid of the body, but when the mom decided to uproot these plants, she found her daughter."

"Was there a missing persons report out on her?" Beckett asked, keeping an eye on Castle, who looked green.

"Not that we know of yet, you would have to talk to the parents," Lanie said, turning the girl's head side to side. The muscles in her throat pulsed and Castle gagged. "You gonna be okay there, writer boy?" Castle turned away, nodding. Beckett placed a hand tentatively on his shoulder.

"You sure?" she asked. "It's pretty gruesome." He looked down at the hand on his shoulder and she removed it, stepping away. He hadn't even noticed how close she was. The powdery smell of her perfume surrounded him and he closed his eyes, pretending to steady himself, and took a deep breath, inhaling her perfume.

"I'm going to go interview the parents," her voice wafted into the darkness surrounding him, and his eyes opened.

"I'll go with you," he replied. He glanced down at the body and shuddered again.

"Mrs. Marlow, did you report your daughter missing?" she asked, taking a seat at a dinner table across from a distraught mother and stone-faced father.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. They were the same color as her dead daughter's. Castle found he couldn't take his eyes off them. "I tried, but the police station said she had to be missing for at least another 24 hours. I told them if she wasn't home something was wrong."

A blonde girl stood in the doorway, leaning against the wooden frame, her arms crossed, eyes dry. Beckett looked up at her, and smiled bracingly. "My name is Kate Beckett, I'm the detective working this case. Were you related to the victim?"

Mrs. Marlow replied for the blonde. "This is Sloane, Hadley's twin sister."

Castle thought back to the body in the rosebushes. "Twin?"

"Fraternal," the blonde clarified. Her voice was musical; she sounded like an angel. Even Beckett looked transfixed by the gorgeous blonde teenager. Castle wondered if Hadley had sounded the same.

"Okay, well Sloane, when was the last time you saw Hadley?"

"About three days ago," she said. "But that's not out of the ordinary. We're both so busy that we can easily go a week without seeing each other, and we live in the same house." She took the seat next to Beckett, instead of next to her distraught parents. "She was always at dance or theatre practice, I was always at the library or at chemistry labs."

Castle and Beckett exchanged a look. "Did your sister have any enemies at school?"

Sloane laughed, but it was a light, cynical sound. "We both have enemies. Think about it, Detective. My sister and I were the top of the class, president of clubs, stars of shows. We weren't exactly wallflowers. And to be honest, we were even each other's enemies now and again. We have friends, sure, but over half of our school hates us. It's jealousy, really." She leaned back and crossed her arms.

Castle stared at this girl, who, though she was radiating Upper East Side privileged snob right now, had shaking hands. Beckett noticed too, and made a note of it.

"Castle, why don't you go talk to Sloane while I finish up here?" she asked, smiling sweetly at Sloane, who stood up.

"I'll give you a tour," she said. Her mother nodded.

Castle stood and followed her out of the room, watching Sloane's hands as she kept them tightly clenched to stop the shaking. "This is where I spend most of my time," she said, pushing open a heavy door. Castle, expecting to see a warm and friendly bedroom, was instead greeted by walls of bookshelves and a huge, menacing desk in the middle of the room with a chair usually reserved for people of great importance.

"In your own personal library?" he asked.

"My father's library, but yes," she finally let go of her fingers, and they were still. "I find that I like to escape into books, or work, most of the time."

Castle looked down at the petite girl, beautiful and frail, smiling at the rows of dusty books. "I like to read too."

"I know," she said without looking up. "You're Richard Castle. I've read all of your books," she pointed to a shelf, full with his novels. All were dog-eared, and had obviously been read multiple times. Castle smiled.

"That detective," she said, finally looking up into Castle's eyes, "That's the girl you based Nikki Heat off of, right? Kate Beckett?"

Castle nodded.

"She's even prettier than I imagined." Castle smiled, not noticing the slightly bitter look on Sloane's face. "She reminds me a little of my sister." She stared at the shelves of books, and a small tear fell down her porcelain cheek. Castle, spotting it immediately, reached for one of his books, "Hell Hath No Fury" that looked the most dog eared of them all, and opened it.

"Would you like me to sign this for you?" he asked cautiously, hoping something, if anything, could take her mind off her dead sister.

She sniffled. "Sure," she said, wiping her eyes. Castle took out his pen and signed it, with a flourish, to "Sloane, one of the most beautiful Upper East side teenagers I've ever met, and a strong one to boot." He closed it and replaced it on the shelf, knowing she would come back to look for it later, and hoped she would smile when she found it.

She led him back the way they came, down the stairs to the table, where Beckett was already standing and waiting, chatting with the parents, assuring them, like she always did, that they would catch the person who did this to them. Sloane wordlessly stood next to her family, but did not accept the hug her mother offered her.

"We'll stay in touch," Beckett said, placing a hand on Sloane's shoulder as she turned to leave.

"Wait!" Sloane called out.

Beckett, with her hand on the doorknob, paused and turned around. "Yes?"

"Violet Baines. Look into Violet Baines. She was Hadley's best friend until Hadley started dating her ex-boyfriend and was elected captain of the dance team above her. It sounds trivial, but Violet is pretty crazy."

Beckett made a note of it. "I'll do that. Thank you, Sloane." She placed a hand on Castle's arm and led him from the house, while he took one last look back at the small blonde.

"Castle, don't be getting any ideas," Beckett said, sounding more stern than she needed to. She immediately softened her tone. "I know you're drawn to her because she's Alexis's age, but keep in mind that everyone is a suspect, including her."

Castle looked astonished. "What? Why?"

"I spoke to the parents. The rivalry between those two sisters were staggering. They hated each other. And neither parent knows where Sloane was last night."

"Well, you're still going to look into this Violet character, aren't you?" he asked, sounding disgruntled.

Beckett started the car and backed out of the long driveway. "Of course I am. I am not about to disregard a possible suspect because I have another one. You know me better than that, Castle."

"I just don't see how torturing this girl by accusing her of her sister's murder is going to help anything."

Beckett paused. "Are you...angry with me?"

Castle chose not to answer. "She's torn up about her sister's death. How do you think she's going to feel if you walk in there and arrest her for murder?"

"Castle , if she was really willing to help us find her sister's murderer, and if she is indeed innocent, she would have no objection, because she would have nothing to hide," Beckett, getting impatient, drove a little faster.

"And how do you think she's going to be treated at school?"

"Is your rebuttal really based in her school reputation!" Beckett almost laughed, and stopped when she saw his face. "What?"

"Have some consideration for this girl," he said seriously.

Beckett pursed her lips in annoyance. "Okay, this conversation is over."

"Why?"

"Because you're snapping at me, and I don't want to snap back at you." Beckett pulled into a lush school parking lot, where a group of cars were parked by a side door.

"Why are we here?" he asked, momentarily dropping his pouty face.

"Because this is where Violet Baines is right now." She turned off the car and got out, putting on her sunglasses as she did so. Frustrated as he was with her, Castle still could not keep himself from admiring her walk as she strode to a group of over privileged teenagers who surely earned their degree is "cattiness" in the fourth grade.

"This is a private rehearsal," said a striking girl with electric blue eyes and jet black hair. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Beckett ignored her. "I'm looking for Violet Baines. I'm Detective Kate Beckett, I'm investigating a murder that took place the other day."

All of the girls immediately turned to each other and started whispering. The black haired girl turned to them and snapped, "Enough of your prattling. Do the routine, double time."

"But –," said one girl.

"I don't want to hear it," the girl retorted, and pushed a button on the remote. Ke$ha's song "Blow" blasted from the speakers and the dancers leaped into action. She turned her back on them and faced Beckett and Castle.

"My name is Violet. What can I do for you?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"I need to ask you a few questions about Hadley Marlow," Beckett said. "She was murdered sometime yesterday."

Violet's eyes instantly misted over, and her hand went to her heart. "Are you serious?"

"We don't lie, Violet," Castle said.

Violet looked sick. Her already pale skin tinged gray. "I..I don't believe this. I just saw her the day before yesterday."

"That was the last time you spoke to her?" Beckett asked.

"Well, yeah. We argued, again. I mean, it wasn't really a shock, we fought all the time, but we loved each other," she looked down at her hands, and clasped them together.

"We were informed that she started dating your ex-boyfriend, and then she was elected captain of the dance team above you and that's why you two were fighting."

Violet looked confused. "Yeah, she started dating Ryan, but it didn't matter. They were only together for a day. And we were elected co-captains. That's not why we were fighting."

Beckett glanced at Castle, who shrugged. "Then why were you fighting?"

Her face turned red. "Do I really have to tell you?"

Beckett glanced at Castle again, who nodded encouragingly. "Violet, we need to know everything. Every detail is important."

"Hadley broke up with Ryan because she was in love with someone else," Violet said quietly. Castle raised his eyebrows at Beckett, who seemed clueless.

"Okay, go on," Beckett said, narrowing her eyebrows.

"Come on, Beckett, are you going to make her say it?" Castle asked, looking comfortingly at Violet, who smiled the tiniest smile.

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Beckett, Hadley was in love with Violet," Castle explained. Violet's face turned so red it was almost purple. Beckett turned to Violet, and felt her own face heat up.

"Is that true?" she asked. Violet nodded.

"You know that one person that has always been there for you? The one that has stood by you no matter how many times you've told them to leave? The one that understands you and why you do what you do and instead of loving you in spite of those characteristics, loves you for them? Hadley understood me better than anyone else I had ever met, even more than my family, or my other friends. She understood everything, and she was an angel to me, no matter how many times I pushed her away. She was that person that I had fireworks with. When I kissed her, it was like, everything was right in the world," tears were rapidly coursing down Violet's face now. "I loved her. I would never do anything to hurt her."

"So why were you two fighting?" Beckett asked, letting her hair fall in her face to hide her red cheeks.

"She wanted to tell everyone about us, but I just wasn't ready. Do you know what those girls would do to us if they found out? What our parents would do? But Hadley said that love could conquer all."

"Maybe she was right," Castle said, giving Violet a small smile.

"She was a free spirit, Detective. She didn't care what people thought or said about her, and she excelled in everything. It earned her a lot of enemies, and very few friends. But I loved her. I would never do anything to hurt her. I would have died for her."

Beckett, even though she knew protocol would call to keep Violet as a suspect, had already crossed her off her list. She turned to Castle, and saw that he was already looking at her, a faint smile on his face. "What?" she asked.

Castle shook his head. "Nothing. I just liked her little speech, that's all."

"Thank you, Violet. We'll keep in touch, okay?" Beckett placed a hand on her shoulder and let her walk away.

A/N: If I missed any reviewers, it's because the review came through after I wrote the first Author's Note. Sorry if I missed you!


	3. Playing with Fire

Author's Note: Thank you lovely people who reviewed the last chapter, and of course everyone who put me on their story alert list. I am grateful and humbled by your support. Also, I'm finally finished with school for the summer, so hopefully I will be able to update this more regularly. Unless of course I start actually doing stuff during the summer (I wouldn't count on it).

Disclaimer: I want Stana and Nathan, but alas, I do not own them.

Chapter Three: Playing with Fire.

"So, I don't understand how this is relevant," Josh said, stroking Beckett's hair as he leaned on the side of her bed. Castle had re-entered the room, and was seated in one corner of the room, his legs pulled up to his chest.

"It's all relevant," he said quietly. Josh turned to look in his direction, as if he couldn't understand why he was there. "All of it."

Beckett smiled at Castle to thank him and touched Josh's hand to make his attention return to her. "He's right, it is relevant." Josh scooted a little closer to her and placed an arm around her. Beckett gasped in pain and he immediately removed it.

"Okay, so where was I?" she glanced at Castle.

"Our fight about Sloane and our meeting with Violet," Castle supplied helpfully. Josh rolled his eyes, and Castle tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, as though daring him to be outwardly annoyed.

"Right, thank you," Beckett said. "Okay, let's continue."

"Ryan, where are we with the former boyfriend?" Beckett asked, silently taking her coffee cup from Castle, who held it out dutifully. She smiled momentarily at him, and looked into his eyes for any residual anger from their argument earlier. His smile was a little half-hearted, but he winked at her all the same.

"He has been attending school without fail. It seems our suspect is a little bit of a goody-goody. His mother is bringing him in after he gets out of soccer practice," Ryan raised an eyebrow, questioning where the mother's intentions were, and Castle helpfully interjected his two cents.

"If he's such a goody-goody, then doesn't that seem a bit out of character for a murderer?"

Beckett inwardly agreed, but before she could stop herself, she found herself arguing playfully with him. "Reforming?"

"With perfect attendance?" Castle smirked at her.

"You never know, Castle, maybe he's going to score a goal in Hadley's memory? Or become a famous soccer player and secretly give her family money for the rest of their lives to keep them quiet...Oh my god, I sound like you," Beckett turned on her heel and retreated to the break room for coffee. Castle triumphantly followed.

"Beckett..."

Beckett busied herself with the espresso machine. "It was just a lapse in my usual consciousness. My speculation moment is over."

Castle leaned against the counter, his eyebrow cocked as per his usual. "I wasn't going to say that at all," he said.

"Oh really?" Beckett said, stirring her coffee absent-mindedly. "Were you going to say you're rubbing off on me, and then make some lewd joke about some other way you could rub off on me? And then do that stupid smirk you always do while I splutter behind you and you walk away?"

Castle raised both eyebrows. "I thought you said your speculation moments were over."

Beckett's mouth fell open. "I-I-"

He smiled. "Luckily, your hypothesis was completely wrong. I was going to say I think we should look into the father."

Beckett was completely dumbfounded again. "What? The dad?"

"Well yeah. We have to look into everyone, and the dad was the only one without the rock solid alibi," Castle shrugged, looking down so Beckett wouldn't see him smile at her bewildered facial expression.

She shook her head, retreating into the curtain of her hair, and thought. He was right, of course, he almost always was, but why hadn't she thought of that before? She pushed her hair out of her face and looked up. Castle was watching her intently.

"Okay, yeah," she said watching a smile spread across his face. "We need to talk to the dad."

"I knew you would see the truth in my ways," Castle said, getting a cup of coffee of his own.

A smirk graced the face of Beckett this time as she snatched his coffee cup away from him. "Well, you want to talk to the dad, then let's go!"

She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him out of the break room, where he reached futilely for the coffee cup. "But...coffee," he said, crestfallen. Beckett handed him her coffee cup and picked up the one he had brought her just a few minutes before. He smiled and took a sip, quieting like a child who had been given a piece of candy.

"We'll be back in a few minutes, guys!" she called to Esposito and Ryan.

Ryan held up a hand. "Wait a second," he said. "We just got a call from Violet's school. Boyfriend? He's dead."

"Dead?"

"Shot. With a .45."

Castle whistled. "That is a big gun."

"Okay," Beckett said, her hands in her hair as she struggled to focus. "Okay, Ryan, you and Esposito go pick up the dad, mother, and daughter and bring them here. Say it's for safety. If you can track her down, get Violet too. Castle and I will go to the scene."

"Got it, boss," Esposito said, grabbing his keys off his desk. Castle followed on Beckett's five inch heels as she hurried to her own car. She slipped her shoe off and floored it, swerving through traffic as fast as she could.

"What's the hurry?" Castle asked. "No offense, but he's dead. He's not going anywhere."

"I need to figure this out now, Castle. There is something missing here and I can't put my finger on it. But, I don't know. I feel a bad omen. We need to close this case before anyone else dies."

Castle held on to the middle console of the car and clenched his hands tight as Beckett flew around a corner.

"What do we got, Lanie?" she asked. Lanie looked up and gave her best friend a grim smile.

"He knew whoever it was. He was shot at close range. It's even possible that the gun was touching him when he was shot. It's a nasty exit wound." She pulled the body over and Castle had to swallow his coffee and turn around.

"Do we have a location on the murder weapon?" Beckett asked, taking diligent notes.

"We haven't located it yet, but there are unis all over this school and the surrounding areas. If the killer ditched it, we'll find it."

"That's not good enough," Beckett murmured.

A loud ring jarred her out of her thoughts. She fished her phone out of her pocket and pressed talk. "Beckett."

"We got them all. They're at the 12th, awaiting you," Esposito said.

"Be there as soon as we can." She snapped the phone closed. "What's the preliminary TOD?"

"I would say about five hours ago," Lanie said. "Early morning. 6 AM?"

"Got it. Okay, let's go, Castle."

He positively fled from the mangled body of the teenage boy. "Where to, detective?"

"The precinct. All the suspects we could possibly have are there."

She had barely buckled her seat belt before she was on the phone again. "Ryan, I need you to find out if any of those people have a .45. If they do, find it. If not, check financials for anyone who could have pulled enough money to buy a .45. I want to find that gun." She hung up and floored it again. Castle laid a hand tentatively on hers that was clenched around the steering wheel.

"All of our suspects are in custody. Couldn't we, you know, slow down?"

Beckett turned to him. His face was still a little grayish from seeing the boy, and his eyes looked a little more frenzied than normal. She obliged.

"Okay," Castle exhaled. "Tell me what we know."

"We know that Hadley was killed two days ago from a broken neck, but she also had a blockage in her throat that would have killed her soon enough. The killer got impatient, but had the conscious thought to bury her under a rose garden, which suggest almost sociopathic tendencies. We know Hadley was in love with Violet, but she previously dated that kid, by the name of Trent. We know Trent was formerly dating Sloane. We know Sloane hated Violet and Hadley. We know Hadley and Violet were always fighting. We know the mother has an airtight alibi. We know a lot of facts that make no sense together."

"I'm confused," Josh asked, cutting across Beckett's monologue. "How does this matter?"

Castle sighed. "Beckett, do you remember exactly what happened a few minutes before you got shot?"

She shook her head. Castle turned to Josh. "Which means she doesn't remember who shot her, and she doesn't remember why. I tried to tell you, when you said 'we caught him.' The killer wasn't a him. So, I can take it from here, if you want." She nodded, and Josh reluctantly focused on Castle.

"I can't believe we didn't get anything out of anyone in there!" Beckett threw the case file onto the desk and slunk low in her chair. "It has to be one of them! There's no one else!"

Castle sat in his usual chair. "I know. Something will turn up."

"Beckett," Montgomery called from his office door. "Time's up. We have to release them." Beckett waved her hand and Ryan went to let Violet, Sloane, and Sloane's parents know they could leave.

"Hey, Beckett, don't you have somewhere to be?" Castle said, looking at his watch. "Bridesmaid dresses and such?"

"Shit."

Castle was astonished. Beckett rarely cursed. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow Castle."

"Until tomorrow, Detective."

Beckett had only been gone for a few minutes when Castle decided he would try to get a little detective work done by himself. He flipped through the case file, noting small observations Beckett had made on her notepad that corresponded with facts that had later come to life. On one page, there was something she erased that looked vaguely like a heart, but next to it was a note "not to let Castle near any more gruesome crime scenes." He rolled his eyes.

There were quite a few notes Beckett had made about Sloane Marlowe. He couldn't decipher some of her shorthand, but he was sure Beckett had kept Sloane as her suspect number one and didn't tell him.

He grabbed the case file and called a cab, taking it to the Marlowe home.

"Hi, Mrs. Marlowe, I was just wondering if I could talk to Sloane. I wanted to see how she was taking everything."

Mrs. Marlowe, who at first looked offended that Castle would show up after questioning all of her family just a mere hour before, smiled and stepped aside, "She's upstairs."

Castle nodded and trudged upstairs, feeling tired all the way to his bones. He wished he could get a massage. His mind, and his imagination, kicked into overdrive and he pictured himself getting a nice, full body massage from Beckett. Oil slicked, bikini clad Beckett, straddling him and running her capable hands down his –

"Mr. Castle?"

"Oh, hi, Sloane," Castle wrenched his mind away from his fantasies. "I was just stopping by to see how you were dealing with all of this. I know detectives don't really make you feel better about the whole ordeal."

"Would you like to come in?" she asked, opening the door to her room. It was as neat as a monk's, with everything put in its proper place, bed formally made, everything spotless. Castle sat gingerly on the edge of her bed and Sloane sat on her desk chair.

"So, how do you feel?" he asked. Sloane turned away from him, and he knew she was crying. "Sloane, I-I'm sorry. I just, wanted to make sure you weren't taking it too hard...because...I mean..." He was at a complete loss. Sloane shook her head and sniffed, her back still to him.

"It's okay," she murmured. "Um...I'll be right back," she said. "Tissues."

She left, shutting the door carefully behind her. Castle glanced around, and spotted a corner of what looked like a picture sticking out of her closet door. Curious, he opened the door, and gasped, snapping a few pictures with his iPhone. Suddenly, everything clicked, and he realized he had to get out of there. Fast.

When Sloane came back, she was dry eyed and holding a tissue.

"Sloane, I'm so sorry, but there was an emergency with my daughter and I have to go home," Castle said, holding up his phone as proof. Sloane stepped closer to him, and he could smell her sweet perfume.

"Would you like me to come with you?" she asked. "I would love to get out of this house. And maybe I can help?"

She was even closer now, staring up at him through her thick eyelashes. "Um...I think I'll be okay. I'll have her talk to Beckett after this. She likes to talk to her." Castle rambled on, and noticed the cloud that darkened her face.

"You really love her don't you?" she said. "The detective."

Castle, in too much of a hurry to pay much attention, responded quickly. "Yeah, I do. It was nice to see you, Sloane. Maybe I'll see you again soon enough."

He practically bolted to the door, and Sloane followed, walking him dutifully out the front door. She watched him drive away and grabbed her mother's car keys from the key rack by the window. "Yes, soon enough."

"Kate, that one is beautiful!" Lanie exclaimed, as Kate stepped out of the dressing room in a lavender gown. She wrinkled her nose, still in a cranky mood from accomplishing nothing at the precint.

"I look like the Easter Bunny's cohorts," she muttered, examining herself in the mirror. Lanie was wearing a yellow gown that made her skin glow, and Ryan's sister Amelia was wearing a midnight blue gown that sparkled and fit her in all the right places.

"You're just in a bad mood," Lanie said, handing Beckett an emerald green dress. "Here, try this one." Beckett muttered under her breath and stomped back to the dressing room.

The bell above the door tinkled and Castle came barreling in. He spotted Lanie and ran over, almost tripping over the couches on his way. "Where's Beckett?" he asked.

"You're not supposed to be here, groomsman," Lanie said, smiling. Her smile slid off her face when she saw how distraught he looked. "What's wrong?"

"Lanie, can you zip this up?" Beckett appeared from behind a curtain, holding her hair away from the zipper of the green gown, and Castle caught a glimpse of her creamy bare back. She wasn't wearing a bra. Lanie obliged and turned Beckett around.

"Castle?" she said, letting go of her hair. "What are you doing here?"

"It was the sister," he said, holding out his phone. "Sloane killed Hadley."

"How do you know?" she said.

"Look at this," he said. Beckett looked down at the picture. There was a collage of pictures...of her. Her at the precinct, her with Castle, handing him coffee, and even some of her at her apartment.

"What is this?" she asked.

"She's after you, Beckett. Sloane is after you next." Beckett furrowed her eyebrows. She heard a loud click, and looked up...and down the barrel of a .45.

"He's right, Detective," Sloane said from behind the bridal group. Lanie grabbed Amelia and Jenny and pulled them to the other side of the store. She came back for Castle, but he threw her arm off.

"Put the gun down, Sloane," he demanded. Sloane turned to him.

"I knew you didn't have an emergency with your daughter, Richard," she said. "I knew you were coming to warn her. Pity, actually."

"Pity?" Beckett said. Castle turned to her, eyebrows raised. Normally, Beckett worked well with criminals holding guns. She was soothing, comforting, and logical. Right now she just looked furious.

"I told you!" she said to Castle. "We could have solved this a long time ago!" Castle looked shocked, then horrified. He lowered his eyes to the ground. She turned her gaze to Sloane. "You like him, don't you? You think he's handsome and charming. And that's exactly what you thought about Trent until he left you for your sister. And then your sister dumped him for a girl! I bet that was a shock. She turned down the guy who dumped you! And so you killed her. Because she always got what you wanted, even when she didn't want it. And then you killed Trent. You went to talk to him and you killed him."

"Shut up!" Sloane yelled, cocking the gun. Castle turned to her, eyes wide, and shouted her name.

"And then you set your sights on Richard Castle. And then you saw that he had feelings for me. And you couldn't stand it, could you? You couldn't stand the idea of getting rejected again, but it didn't really concern you that this man could be your father, did it? Because you were blinded by rage and jealousy. And it didn't help that your mental health was deteriorating, did it?"

"Beckett! Shut up!" Castle yelled. Tears were falling down Sloane's face now.

"My sister was allergic to peanuts, did you know that?" she said. "I gave her lemonade spiked with peanut oil and watched her choke. And when she grabbed me, I panicked and kicked her. Her neck broke."

"And then you buried her in the rose garden."

"She took EVERYTHING from me!" Sloane sobbed, and the gun wavered. Castle flinched. "And then I realized that I could take everything from her. Just like I can from you."

Beckett squared her shoulders. Rage coursed through her veins like something she hadn't experienced since she started working on her mother's case again. This girl was a ruthless killer, and had been stalking her because of Castle. She could feel her old resentment from having him around resurfacing, even though the feelings she had for him were trying to squash it. Right now, she found herself, for lack of a better term, playing with fire. Because that was what she was used to doing. She wasn't going to beg this girl not to shoot her because of Castle. She refused.

"She didn't take everything from you, Sloane," she said. "Your freedom? You took that from yourself when you spiked her lemonade."

A bang sent her ears ringing and Beckett was suddenly on the floor, blood pouring from her chest. Castle was leaning over her, and Lanie was dialing 911.

"Beckett, why would you provoke her?" he asked.

Beckett opened her mouth, and felt blood sliding from the corner of her mouth to her hair. She was going to say, because I couldn't control myself when it comes to someone else wanting you. Because I lost you to Gina and it made me paranoid that I could lose you to anyone, even some teenage socialite. Because I don't want to lose you no matter what and it is safer for me to take a bullet than for her to turn the gun on you, because I don't know what I would do if someone shot you. Because I love you.

Instead, she closed her mouth and touched his face, wiping away a tear that threatened to slide down his terrified face.

"You'll be okay, honey," Lanie was saying.

"I provoked her?" Beckett asked. "That doesn't make any sense."

Castle shrugged. "I was pretty surprised too."

"Are you crazy?" Josh said, turning to Beckett. "Katie, you could have died because you provoked her for what? Because she had a crush on Castle?" He turned to Castle. "Can I speak to her alone for a second, please?"

Castle looked at Beckett, who narrowed her eyes at Josh. "No, he stays. He saved me."

"No, he didn't Katie. He caused it."

"I should go," Castle said, turning to leave.

"Don't you dare," she said. "I know what Josh has to say. You want him to stop shadowing me, right? Well it's not going to happen. We're doing this for his books, for the mayor, and he's a damn good detective, badge or not."

Josh looked stone faced. "Fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

Kate watched him leave and motioned for Castle to come to her bedside. "I am so incredibly sorry for what I said to you when Sloane showed up. It wasn't your fault that you wanted a young girl to be innocent. It was no one's fault but my own that she shot me. You know that I'm sorry, right?"

Castle took her hand and squeezed it. "I do. But if I had lost you..." he paused, and Kate hastened to fill the silence.

"I know." She said. She grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him close. She placed a kiss on his cheek. "I know."

A/N: I know, this was a lot of information to give you, but I wanted to finish the flashback with this chapter. Sooo, review for me!


	4. Purpose

A/N: Okay, so I'm writing this Author's Note the same day I posted Chapter Three, and I know the former chapter seemed a little rushed...it was kind of supposed to feel that way. I wanted that sense of urgency that most would have when they're close to solving the crime but missing some crucial piece of information. I assure you, the flashback is over, and now it is all in the present time. So, I'll stop blabbering on and get on with the chapter.

Disclaimer: I wish, but no.

Chapter Four: Purpose

"Yeah, I know...just give me a few weeks...no, look, I've been going through some stuff right now, and I'll get the book done when I get the book done. Okay, I'll talk to you...hello?" Castle, who had been whispering, kicked the hospital chair as violently and quietly as he could without waking a sleeping Kate Beckett.

"I've been awake for half an hour, Castle, make as much frustrated noise as you like," she said, her eyes still closed. Her response was a loud thump. She suspected he threw the book he had been reading against the wall. She peeked through one eye and saw him picking up "The Bell Jar" and smiled at her correct guess. "Why haven't you been writing?"

Castle shrugged, much like a petulant child.

Beckett struggled to sit up, trying not to get tangled in the wires around her. Castle stood to help her, but she waved him off. "I'm okay, it doesn't hurt. Just...wires!" she shook her arm as evidence, and the IV jiggled comically. Castle grimaced. "So, what have you written?"

Castle murmured under his breath something that sounded suspiciously a lot like "nothing."

Beckett's eyebrows shot upward and she leaned forward, ignoring the sore sting in her chest. "Did you say nothing?"

Castle stared at a point somewhere behind Beckett's head and didn't move. She stared at him, one eyebrow raised, until he finally made eye contact. "Castle! Start writing!"

"So, when did they say you could leave?" he asked, the master of subject-change. She rolled her eyes but obliged him.

"Tomorrow. Josh is coming by to drive me home," she said, fiddling with her IV. Castle looked down, and she finally glanced back up at him. Josh had been a touchy subject between them ever since he had told Kate he didn't want Castle shadowing her anymore; but they never brought it up.

Castle had just opened his mouth to speak when his phone rang again. Beckett could see the name of his publicist emblazoned on the screen; Castle looked sick to his stomach, but answered it anyway. "Hello?"

Beckett turned her eyes away from the writer and down to her lap. She wished she hadn't mentioned Josh's name. Castle had been so great to her for the past few weeks as she recovered from her gunshot wound, and Josh had told him, to his face, that he was dangerous for her, and that she shouldn't shadow him anymore. It was like a punch in the gut to him; she could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her. He pretended he didn't believe it, but there was doubt all over his face.

She wished she could have stopped Josh from saying it. She wished she could make him take it back. But more than anything, she wished she could somehow tell Castle that everything Josh said was wrong, that he meant the world to her, and make him believe it. She just couldn't find the words.

He hung up the phone and sat dejectedly in his chair, leaning lower and lower until his whole lower half was suspended above the floor and his back was on the seat of the chair. He looked up at her, and they stared in silence at each other. He seemed to be searching for something in her face, waiting for some sign. When nothing happened, he stood and brushed off his pants, suddenly business-like.

"Well, I should probably go home and change. I've been in these clothes for the better part of two days, and who knows, maybe I'll start writing," he said, scooping his book off the floor and patting his pocket to make sure his phone was there.

Beckett frowned, but quickly ironed out the wrinkles in her forehead before he could see them. "Are you coming back?" she asked.

"Probably not," he replied quietly. "I'll see you when you get out. Call me when you make it home."

And he walked away, leaving Beckett more confused and conflicted than before.

"_Beckett, Kate!" Castle's voice prodded her through the darkness surrounding. "Kate, please open your eyes." _

_She moaned in response, the vibration of her own voice sending spasms of pain throughout her entire body. She felt cold start at the edge of her fingertips, and suddenly she felt like she was back in the freezer, feeling her life slip away every time she breathed. She coughed, and tasted the coppery tang of blood in her mouth. Castle's hand stroked her face softly and it was oddly comforting, and she felt her heart steady. _

_The pain came again and she tumbled into black as the words "I love you," were poised on her lips. They never fell. _

Kate stared at the white wall of the hospital, mulling over what she had just remembered. The doctors had warned her that some of what happened could come back to her, but not to expect all of it to return. She had been plagued with nightmares since the first night she could finally sleep, but now the memories were flooding back. She looked toward the door that Castle had left through and wished wholeheartedly that she had told him she loved him.

"Knock, knock," Josh came through the door, holding a mug of coffee and a donut. He handed both to Kate, who declined the donut and took the coffee. She sipped it slowly, knowing Josh didn't know how to make the coffee she liked. Not like Castle did. She groaned to herself and forcibly pushed the writer from her mind.

"Hey, I thought you were on call," she said, warming her hands around the mug.

"I am," he said, motioning to the beeper on his hip. "I can spare a few minutes for you, Katie."

Beckett smiled at him, searching for words to say, but all she could think of was how awkward the silence filling the room was becoming. She pursed her lips and wrinkled her nose, hoping Josh would say something, anything, but the silence remained, pressing down on them both until Beckett's phone beeped and she praised God. She opened one new text from Alexis.

"Dad is home, and looks down. Everything okay?" it said. Beckett frowned, knowing exactly what the issue was. She typed out a quick response to Alexis.

"He's stuck on his next Nikki Heat book. He'll come around, I'm sure. Don't worry."

Alexis's response was immediate. "It's not about the book, Detective Beckett. And I think you know it too."

Beckett dropped the phone like it was on fire, and Josh chuckled.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he replied instantly. She fixed him with a glare, eyebrows raised, and he amended his statement. "You have such childish moments, like when you make faces at your phone, as if the person you're texting can actually see you, and then you have moments where the worst criminals in America would be terrified of you. I'm just...glad I can see both."

Beckett, who normally would have found a confession like this sweet, frowned. "You've never seen me on a job. How would you know what I look like?"

Josh looked up at her. "I've been to the precinct before, Kate."

"But you've never seen me on a case, out in the field," she insisted. "Only Ryan, Esposito, and..." she stopped, knowing she was about to make the same mistake she had when Castle was in the room.

"And Castle?" Josh finished the sentence for her. "Kate, I like to think I know you a little better than Castle does."

"I'm tired," Beckett said as a response. "I think my pain meds are kicking in. I'm going to take a nap. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Josh stared at her, long and hard. "Fine," he said, standing. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Beckett slept for the rest of the day. When she had told Josh she was tired, she had been the type of bone deep tired that she only felt when she had been awake for two days and had been all over the city running down leads and only wanted a shower and sleep. But she closed her eyes, and drifted into her nightmares again, waking up around three in the morning, wishing she had someone to hold her.

She was never the girl who wanted to cuddle with, who needed someone to hold her hand. She was stronger than that, but when she awoke with a start, after staring down into Sloane's eyes and feeling the bullet tear into her flesh, she would have done anything to hold someone's hand.

_Castle's hand._

In the dark of her hospital room, she fumbled for the notepad Alexis had brought her the first day she had been moved to this room. Beckett had used it to doodle aimlessly, write a few lines of useless words strung together, but now she put her pen to paper with purpose.

_Dear Rick, _

_I am probably writing this because I'm scared in the dark (don't ever repeat that), but I wanted to say that I'm sorry for bringing up Josh today when we were talking about your book. I've been searching for the words to say to you to somehow communicate to you that I do not blame you for what happened, and that I don't want you to stop shadowing me, and Josh is an idiot about it, but...you're the writer, not me. I want you to know that I remembered something today. The doctors told me that would happen, but I never really believed it would. But I remembered you telling me to open my eyes, and even though I didn't, I want you to know that I heard you. I felt like I was back in that freezer. I wanted to say something to you then, but I never got the chance, just like I was going to do when the ambulance showed up for me. I was going to tell you that I love you. I'm not an open person, and I'm sure you know that. But I have tried to tell you so many times that I feel like if I put it on paper, that ensures that it will happen one day for sure. I love you, Richard Castle, and I hope you'll keep reading this after that line, even though I'm sure you won't be as focused. I want you as my partner at the precinct every day, and I want you by my side when I go to sleep at night. I provoked Sloane because I have lost people I love before, and I couldn't stand even the thought of losing you, even if the threat was some sixteen year old girl. It makes me crazy how much I love you. But I was scared. I'm afraid of what will happen. I don't want to mess this up. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I'm sorry I'm not a poet, or as good with words as you, but I hope in your book that Rook and Heat stay together, because reading your books makes me happy, especially when I know you based those characters on us. _

_Love Always, _

_Kate. _

Beckett folded the note into a small square and stuffed it into her purse, in the zippered pocket that no one ever opened, and leaned back on her pillows, feeling the soft tranquility of sleep overtake her.

Much too soon, the nurse was shaking her awake. "Good morning, Katherine," she said cheerfully. "Today's the big day."

"You have no idea how excited I am," Beckett said flatly, through her sleep.

The nurse chuckled. "As annoyed as you are that you're awake, I'm assuming that statement is sincere."

Kate nodded through a yawn. The nurse handed her a clipboard with forms to sign, and Beckett dialed Josh's number as she signed. The call went to voicemail. She frowned, and pressed redial. Voicemail.

She tried him three more times with no response. She was filled with disappointment that felt like lead. Josh had promised he would be there to take her home. After dodging in and out of her room the whole time she was here, attacking her partner, trying to tell her what to do, this was his chance to make up for it all. And he wasn't answering. He had told her he had asked specifically for that time off, so he couldn't be on call. Angry tears stung her eyes and she pushed them back. She would not cry, even if it was out of pure frustration. The nurse handed her the small duffel bag that had her normal clothes in it and let her have her privacy to change. As she pulled up her jeans, she dialed a number she knew by heart.

"Castle," came her response immediately.

"Castle?" she replied, as if it couldn't be him. Her voice must have betrayed her, because he sounded concerned.

"Did something happen?" he asked. "Are you home?"

Beckett closed her eyes and took a deep breath so her voice wouldn't waver. "...no," she said.

He seemed to know exactly what happened. "I'll be there in five, okay?"

"...yeah. Thanks."

"Anytime."

He was true to his word. In five minutes he was through the door, grabbing her duffel bag, and looping his arm through hers to help her out the door when she declined the wheelchair. She cracked her first smile of the day and insisted she could walk properly, but left her arm in his anyway.

He had let her stay in her silence until they were in the back of the taxi, on their way to her apartment. He cleared his throat, and after pausing multiple times, opening and closing his mouth like a fish, he spoke.

"What happened?"

Beckett didn't have to ask to know what he meant. "Josh didn't answer my call. He said he would take me home, but he...I guess he was working."

She yawned again, her eyes watering, and closed her eyes. Her eyes were still closed when Castle replied.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she replied, cracking one eye to look at him. The driver pulled up to her apartment, and Castle immediately jumped out to grab her bag and pay the driver. She led him up the stairs to her apartment, nudging the door open with her boot, like she was used to doing. The place looked just like she'd left it. He followed her to her bedroom, where he set the duffel bag on the floor by her dresser as she collapsed into her bed and curled under her covers.

He watched her for a second, his head cocked to the side, as if this was one thing he had always wanted to see. "I'll just, let myself out, then..." he said, motioning to the door. He turned to go.

"Castle," she beckoned him back. "Stay with me?"

He nodded and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. Beckett almost laughed.

"No, lay with me," she clarified.

Castle's face turned red, but he nodded, slipping off his shoes and sliding under the covers. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close so her back was against his chest. She used her foot to pull one of his legs between hers and settled comfortably into his embrace. She felt a calm she hadn't experienced since before being locked in the freezer. Right before she fell asleep, she heard herself whisper. "Thank you, Castle. For being there."

"Always," he whispered into her hair.

A/N: Sorry, this was short. But also kind of fluffy.


	5. Strong Willed

A/N: Okay, I've gotten like three reviews for the last chapter and I'm already writing the next one. I'm not hatin', just sayin'. GIVE ME LOVE! Haha. I am totally kidding. I don't expect this chapter to be action-packed, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer: Ugh, I wish.

Chapter Five: Strong Willed.

_Previously: _

_Dear Rick, _

_I am probably writing this because I'm scared in the dark (don't ever repeat that), but I wanted to say that I'm sorry for bringing up Josh today when we were talking about your book. I've been searching for the words to say to you to somehow communicate to you that I do not blame you for what happened, and that I don't want you to stop shadowing me, and Josh is an idiot about it, but...you're the writer, not me. I want you to know that I remembered something today. The doctors told me that would happen, but I never really believed it would. But I remembered you telling me to open my eyes, and even though I didn't, I want you to know that I heard you. I felt like I was back in that freezer. I wanted to say something to you then, but I never got the chance, just like I was going to do when the ambulance showed up for me. I was going to tell you that I love you. I'm not an open person, and I'm sure you know that. But I have tried to tell you so many times that I feel like if I put it on paper, that ensures that it will happen one day for sure. I love you, Richard Castle, and I hope you'll keep reading this after that line, even though I'm sure you won't be as focused. I want you as my partner at the precinct every day, and I want you by my side when I go to sleep at night. I provoked Sloane because I have lost people I love before, and I couldn't stand even the thought of losing you, even if the threat was some sixteen year old girl. It makes me crazy how much I love you. But I was scared. I'm afraid of what will happen. I don't want to mess this up. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I'm sorry I'm not a poet, or as good with words as you, but I hope in your book that Rook and Heat stay together, because reading your books makes me happy, especially when I know you based those characters on us. _

_Love Always, _

_Kate. _

"_Thank you, Castle. For being there." _

"_Always," he whispered into her hair._

When Castle opened his eyes, he was looking at the dark New York sky through the window of Kate Beckett's bedroom. It took a few seconds before he realized that he was still holding a sleeping Beckett in his arms. He looked down at her placid face and smiled contentedly. All the creases that normally lined her face when she was awake, whether it was from worry, confusion, frustration, or deep thought, were all gone as she breathed steadily beside him. Her eyelashes were the lightest brown, almost golden, when they were devoid of mascara. Her slightly parted lips were the palest pink, and he found himself itching to kiss them. He knew how soft they were, he had tasted them once; they were like a forbidden fruit. Once tasted, the pull of them was insatiable.

Her slender hand was entwined with his, and as he watched, she twitched, tightening the hold of her fingers around his own. Castle glanced from the sleeping detective to the clock on the bedside table beside a copy of _Naked Heat _and her cell phone. It was 8:25. He lowered his head onto the pillow and buried his nose in the nape of her neck, smelling her tangled hair. He felt her stir beside him and sat up on his elbow.

She was having a nightmare. Her eyes were flitting back and forth beneath the lids, and her formerly peaceful mouth was tightened in fright. Her hands tightened around his again, but painfully this time. Tears leaked from her closed eyes and ran into her hair. Castle removed his hand from hers and placed both on either side of her face.

"Kate?" he asked. "Kate, you need to wake up."

She gasped, like she was finally able to breathe after a long period of time without air. Her eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, leaving Castle only barely able to dodge her. Her hands clutched at her chest, at the tender scar where Sloane's bullet had pierced her. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and Castle was afraid she had forgotten he was there.

"Kate?"

She turned to him like a startled animal. "Oh, Castle," she sobbed, and melted into his arms. He stroked her hair as she cried, and held her as tightly and gently as he could. Her strong shoulders shook against his arm, and he lowered her into the pillows again, keeping his arm around her.

"How can I help?" he asked. She didn't respond, and he let her tears subside. When she was only sniffling, he asked her again.

She sat up and wiped her eyes, all vulnerability leaving her face. "I'm fine, Castle. I'll...I'll be fine."

He mimicked her movement and locked eyes with her. "You're not fine, Kate. You had a nightmare," he paused, knowing Kate wouldn't take kindly to him prying into her feelings. "A nightmare about Sloane."

Beckett leaped up from her bed and scooped up her phone from the bedside table. "I did not," she said. "Oh, Josh called," she added absent-mindedly.

"Okay, Kate, put the phone down for a second," Castle said loudly. He immediately regretted raising his voice when Kate fixed him with a glare that could melt the ice caps. "I'm sorry, I just, want to help."

She must have seen the sincerity in his face, because she softened. "It was just a nightmare about what happened, that's all." She set the phone on the table, face down, and sat on the edge of her bed.

"And how often does that happen?" he asked.

"What makes you think it's happened more than once?"

He raised his eyebrows at her, a routine movement that made him remember all the cases they had worked on, all his theories she had proven wrong, and it made him wistful. "You asked me to stay with you," he said matter-of-factly. "You were afraid."

"I was not afraid," she snapped.

He took her hands in his and squeezed them. "It's okay to be afraid, Kate. No one is going to think you're weak."

She removed her hands from his and looked down at her lap, chewing her lip thoughtfully. "I keep dreaming of what happens after I get shot. You know, it's not the action that really scares me; that she shot me, that is. It's how I felt after it happened. How the cold spread from my fingers all the way to my chest, just like the freezer. How I reflected on how I spent my life. All the things I didn't do, didn't say..." she glanced, almost as a reflex, to her purse on the chair.

Castle followed her gaze. "Did you need something from your purse?" he asked, confused.

Beckett snapped out of her reverie. "No, no, I...I don't." She seemed to realize that she almost slipped up, because she cleared her throat and picked up her phone again. "I need to call Josh back."

Castle stood up to leave.

"No, Castle, I'm not telling you to leave," she said, holding up her hand.

"You don't have to," he said, sounding defeated. "I don't need to be around to listen in on your phone calls to your boyfriend." Beckett swallowed awkwardly and looked away.

"Then go in the kitchen," she replied. "After I'm done here, we'll go get coffee somewhere."

Castle hesitated, like he knew he should leave. If he had any self respect, he told himself, he would leave now. He didn't need to be a not-boyfriend, he deserved more than that. He deserved all of her. But he knew she wasn't doing this on purpose, that she needed him in ways that she couldn't or wouldn't explain, and knew, deep down, that he could never refuse her anything. He succumbed to her, again.

"How about I make some coffee?" he said.

Her face brightened, and she nodded. "That sounds wonderful." A smile graced his lips and he left her room, leaving her to dial Josh's number by herself. He picked up on the second ring. All the good feelings she had while Castle was there evaporated when she heard his voice. Her leaden disappointment came back, and she felt her free hand curling into a fist around her bedspread.

"Hey, Katie, I'm so –"

"Don't even tell me you're sorry, Josh."

He sounded reproachful now, and tried to defend himself. "I got called in. It was an emergency, it wasn't my fault, Katie."

"You were two floors away from me, Josh. You could have left me a note, sent me a text, left me a message. Anything! You promised me you were going to take me home," she felt her anger strengthen her words even though her previous embarrassment caused her eyes to blur with shameful tears.

"I'm sorry, Katie. I saved that man's life."

She laughed through the film of tears. "That's not going to work this time, Josh. You can't just tell me you saved someone on the operating table and expect everything to go away. You broke a promise to me, and that matters."

"Look, I got out of surgery and went straight to your room but they said you left an hour before I got there. I went to get you."

"It was too little too late," Kate snapped. "Do you know how embarrassed I felt to be waiting for you with my bag, waiting for my perfect boyfriend, who just happened to forget about me?"

"I didn't forget about you—"

"There are several other surgeons around to take your place. You said you asked for the entire day off. Or did you forget?"

He was silent.

"Josh?"

"I didn't ask for the day off, okay?" he replied. "I thought I would be able to take you home and spend some time with you before I got called back in, but I was wrong."

"Damn right you were wrong," Kate spat. "You lied to me."

"So who took you home, Kate?" Josh replied over her. "Who did you call?"

"I called Castle," she matched his volume. "And he was there."

"Of course he was there, Kate, because he's always going to be there, waiting for us to break up or to fight so he can take advantage of you! Don't you see that's exactly what he's doing?" Josh's voice was getting louder, and Kate had to move the speaker away from her ear before shouting back her reply.

"Castle would never...! I can't believe you. I am getting fed up with your accusations! You are the one at fault here, Josh, not me, and certainly not Castle, who has been amazing these past few weeks."

"Of course he has," Josh retorted, sarcasm dripping from his words. "I bet he has."

"You know what?" Kate replied, her voice deadly and low. "I don't want to speak to you right now, and I don't want to see you. I think it would be best if we didn't speak until Ryan's wedding. We'll talk there and figure out what we're going to do."

"Fine."

"Fine." Kate snapped her phone closed and stared at it for a few seconds, the blood pounding in her ears. She could smell the sweet aroma of coffee wafting through the doorway of her room and breathed it in, letting all her anger float away. But try as she might, her hands were still shaking when she went to the kitchen to join Castle, who was already pouring steaming coffee into two mugs.

"I would ask how it went but..." he trailed off and avoided her eyes.

She nodded. "You heard?"

"It was hard not to," he shrugged. "But if it makes you feel better I only heard your side. So I don't know everything."

Beckett stared at the dark contents of her mug in silence. "You know, I really am sorry for what Josh said."

"Kate, you don't have to—"

"Yeah, I do," Kate held up her hand to stop him. She lowered her chin until she was staring right into his eyes. "What he said was wrong, and I didn't stand up for you enough in there. I know I make jokes, and I complain, but I don't think you know how much I appreciate you. I don't think you realized how much I—" she stopped. _How much I need you. _

"I think I do," he responded quietly.

Kate shook her head vehemently. "No." she thought back to the letter in her purse. "No you don't."

"Just promise me something," he said.

"Anything."

He smiled the tiniest glimmer of a smile. "If you ever get tired of me, ever, tell me, and I'm gone, okay?"

She laughed. "Castle, if I thought that would have worked, I would have told you to get lost a long time ago," she said. When he looked crestfallen, she hastened to reply. "But I'm glad I didn't." He raised an eyebrow. "Really, I am."

He smiled again, but his smile was more of a smirk. "Thank you, Kate. For being honest."

This time Kate couldn't bring herself to smile back. She thought again about the letter in her purse. "Castle, can you get me my purse?" she asked.

He obliged, and tossed it to her over the counter. She caught it deftly and shouldered it, making sure the zippered pocket was against her hip. "Let's go to the precinct. I'm sure everyone is there, drinking beers and hanging out," she said.

Castle offered her his arm, and she slapped it away. "I'm no gimp!" she exclaimed. "I can handle walking." Immediately after, thankfully when Castle's back was turned, she tripped over the edge of her couch. She stumbled and righted herself, her ears tinged pink with embarrassment.

"You almost fell, didn't you?" he asked without turning around.

She didn't say a word, but locked arms with him as they descended the stairs.

When they entered the precinct, they were no longer arm in arm, but everyone immediately noticed their presence. Lanie jumped up and hugged her tightly, and Ryan and Esposito nodded at Castle, who smirked.

"Finally, someone with a bottle opener!" Lanie exclaimed to Kate, who laughed.

"I'm glad to know that's all I'm good for," she scolded, handing over her purse. "It's in there somewhere."

Lanie started rifling through her purse as Kate bugged Ryan for updates on his wedding. It wasn't until she heard the sound of paper unfolding that she realized what Lanie had found.

"Lanie, don't!" her eyes went wide and she lunged for her purse, but Lanie raised her eyebrows at her with a look that plainly said 'you can let me read this here and quietly, or you can let me make a scene and tell everyone.' Kate leaned against the table and watched as Lanie's eyes slid down the paper. The entire room was silent.

"Did we miss something?" Esposito asked. Kate waved him off without taking her eyes off of Lanie. When Lanie was done, she looked up at Kate, and she was surprised and shocked to see tears in Lanie's eyes.

"No, no, none of that, now put it away," she commanded. "Back where you found it."

"Can't I just—" Lanie motioned handing it to Castle.

"Don't you dare!"

"Come on, Kate, you can't just hide this forever."

"What is it?" Ryan asked.

"Come on, now we're all curious," Castle said, looking intrigued.

"It's a letter," Lanie said, over Kate's protests.

"A letter?" Castle asked. Lanie seemed to only be speaking to him.

"A letter to you."

"I swear to GOD, Lanie, I am about to roundhouse kick you so fast if you say another word," Kate warned. Lanie closed her mouth and put the letter back where she found it, and Kate snatched her purse back.

"Will you let me read it?" Castle asked gently. Kate whirled around to look at him, but couldn't bring herself to snap. He looked...hopeful, but genuine. A knot of nerves settled into the pit of her stomach, but she had to will herself not to hand over her purse just to please him.

"One day," she promised. "But not now."

He nodded like he would patiently wait forever.

"Lanie, can I speak to you, outside?" Kate asked. Lanie didn't look the least bit abashed, and she followed Kate out the door.

"I cannot believe you almost did that!" Kate ranted. "I mean, do you know what could have happened in there?"

"You could have finally gotten off your chest what I suspect has been weighing you down for over a year now," Lanie said matter-of-factly. "I don't know why you're afraid. He loves you. You love him. Everyone knows it, but you two are just scared to say it. And what if next time you can't be saved? Think about why you wrote this letter in the first place."

"Lanie, I—"

"No, Kate, think about it. We all could have lost you that day. But none of us were as shaken up as he was. It was like his life was going to end if you were gone. And it probably would have. You mean the world to him, and he would do anything for you. You know that."

Kate blinked. "I...I just..."

" Live your life while you have it. Just because Castle will wait forever for you doesn't mean he should have to."

She reentered the room, successfully leaving Kate outside and silenced.

A/N: AAAAND, THANK YOU!


	6. Just Say How

A/N: So I showed the last chapter to one of my friends who just started watching Castle. It seems like you guys enjoyed it the most out of my previous chapters, but he had less than nice things to say. Needless to say, it made me sad and it made me question how good my writing is for this fanfiction. But I would like to thank specifically mammaslittlemonster, NCISchick, Bella Paige, keal, LittleLizzieZentara, and Sammichbatch. Bella Paige, your reviews never cease to crack me up and offer me with good insight into what the readers are thinking. And your song choices are what make up my Caskett playlist on my iTunes. So...thanks.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. No one wants to give me what I want for my birthday! (Which is Wednesday, by the way!)

Chapter Six: Just Say How

The day of the bachelor party, Lanie, Jenny, Kate, and Jenny's sister Amelia all met at Jenny's favorite café on Lexington. Lanie and Kate both ordered coffees, as if they were at work, and Amelia and Jenny ordered Bloody Marys. The bridesmaid dresses, Kate had been informed, were emerald green, the same style of the dress Lanie had been wearing instead of the one Kate had been shot in which, unfortunately, had been Jenny's first choice. However, she didn't want Kate to wear the dress that reminded her of that day, and had settled instead for one similar.

"Besides," she said. "Green looks amazing on all three of you," she smiled, resting her hand on her sister's arm.

"Okay, fill me in on the bachelor and bachelorette parties, girl," Lanie said, looping her arm through Kate's. "What's going down with our men?"

"Our men?" Kate asked, glancing from Lanie to Jenny. "Your men."

"Will there be strippers?" Lanie asked, ignoring Kate.

Jenny smiled. "I had a talk with Kevin, and I agreed that having a wild bachelor party was a rite of passage, so yes, there will be strippers," she saw the look on Lanie's face and hastened to add, "Don't worry, Lanie, Kate, _our _men know better than to pull any funny business."

"Our men?" Kate asked again. "_Your men."_

"Our men," Lanie and Jenny said together. Kate rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee.

"Wait," she said suddenly, setting her mug down. Lanie, Amelia, and Jenny, obviously already on to another subject, looked up curiously. "There are going to be strippers?"

Lanie chuckled. "Don't worry, Kate. Writer boy knows better."

"I wasn't...that's not what...I mean..." Kate stammered. The women laughed.

"Besides," Lanie nudged Kate, "we get our own strippers!"

"They get their own strippers!" Castle exclaimed. "Seriously!"

"Please, bro, you don't have to worry about Beckett," Esposito laughed. "I think she'll behave herself."

"Unless she gets drunk," Ryan replied, snorting into his coffee.

"Wait," Castle paused, knowing the makings of a good story when he hears one, "You've seen Kate drunk? She never gets drunk!"

"Yeah, not now," Ryan said. "She had quite a few hilarious mishaps back when we first started working together. She's pretty...wild."

"You're not making anything better," Castle muttered.

"Okay, dude, why don't you tell him the story before he has an aneurism right here?" Esposito put his arm around Castle. "The man is clearly freaking out."

"Clearly?" Castle asked.

"Clearly," the duo said.

"Besides," Esposito turned to face Castle directly. "What is going on with you two recently?"

Castle shrugged. "Nothing new, or at least nothing new that I know of."

"Read that letter yet?"

Castle looked disheartened. "No, she keeps it hidden somewhere. I mean, I want her to give it to me, I don't want to have to snoop it out, you know?"

The boys nodded. "She already wrote it, so that means she must almost be ready to give it to you, right?" Ryan asked.

"And what about Josh?" Esposito asked. "I mean, Motorcycle boy?"

"She is refusing to speak to him until tomorrow," Castle said. Immediately, a knot settled in his stomach. She hadn't spoken to or seen Josh these past few weeks at all, which meant she was with him more often, texting him, calling him, hanging out with him. Would that change tomorrow? Would she forgive him? He hoped with all his heart she wouldn't, but he knew that she liked to give people the benefit of the doubt. It was one of the things he loved about her.

"Dude? Want to hear that story or not?" Esposito snapped his fingers in front of Castle's face a few times. He jumped and interlocked his fingers.

"Enlighten me," he said.

"Okay, well, we were all drinking, Kate was already drunk, this one was getting there," Ryan pointed to Esposito, who shrugged. "I was the designated driver, so I was sipping a Coke, when everyone started playing Truth or Dare." He exchanged a glance with Esposito. "Which is why all of us at the 12th know that Javi here goes commando," he clapped his partner on the back. "And that Beckett wears –"

"Nah no no no!" Castle covered his ears. "Don't tell me! I want to find out on my own!"

Ryan laughed and continued. "Okay then. Well, the dares started getting riskier. These are all cops who don't like to back down, see? So we started pushing people's limits. So Beckett's dare was..." he narrowed his eyes at Castle. "Think you can handle it?"

"I don't think he can handle it," Esposito said, crossing his arms.

"You're right."

"I can totally handle it!" Castle shouted. "Continue!"

"You sure?"

"Ryan..."

"Okay, okay. Her dare was to steal one of the motorcycles from downstairs in lockup and ride it down the next two blocks."

"That's not so—"

"Naked."

Castle's mouth dropped open. "N...n..naked...?"

"Close your mouth bro, you'll catch flies."

Castle snapped his mouth closed. "And she...she did it?"

"Have you ever known Beckett to back down from a challenge?" Ryan asked.

"Sweet Jesus..." Castle murmured.

"Oh, Jesus had nothing to do with it. It was all Jose. Jose Cuervo," Esposito cackled. Castle high-fived him and Ryan chuckled into silence. Castle's eyes were focused on something far away, and a small smile stretched across his face.

"Hey, take your mind off of naked Beckett for a few minutes while we party as bachelors on Ryan's last night, mmkay?" Esposito clapped him on the shoulder.

"Deal," Castle nodded, knowing full well the image of a naked Beckett straddling a motorcycle was never going to leave his mind.

With the bachelorette party in full swing, Beckett couldn't help but think that she had missed the feeling of a carefree party. Just her and a few female friends, and...well...the strippers she wasn't quite used to, but it was still a fun party. She sipped a martini and checked her phone.

"Hey, put that away!" Lanie yelled at her.

Beckett stuck out her tongue and checked her new text.

"So I hear there's a very interesting story involving you getting quite inebriated and taking a motorcycle out for a spin? Anyone take pictures? XD –Castle."

She rolled her eyes and texted back a simple "You wish," and dropped her phone in her purse. Lanie handed her another martini and snatched her purse.

"No more texty for you," she slurred.

"Are you drunk?" Beckett asked, laughing. Jenny, who was sitting between two well oiled men, snapped pictures as she giggled. Amelia, clearly the most drunk of them all, staggered to Beckett's other side and grabbed her wrist.

"Your suuuuuper pretty, Becks," she said slowly. "Like, supppper, suuuuuuper pretty." She leaned forward and laid her head on Beckett's shoulder.

"Amy, exactly how many drinks have you had?" Beckett asked amusedly. Lanie giggled beside her and hiccupped. Beckett turned to her. "And what about you?"

"Drunk up, missy, cusss you clearly haven't had enough," Lanie said, pushing Beckett's martini to her mouth. Beckett chuckled and took a sip, watching Lanie stumble across the room to Jenny. She grabbed Jenny's phone from her much like a five year old with a new toy and started snapping pictures of everything.

Amelia tugged on Beckett's arm, and when she turned, Amelia planted a long, sloppy wet kiss on Beckett's mouth. Kate scooted away, laughing hysterically, her face bright red, and heard the tell-tale signs of clicking that meant Lanie had gotten it all on tape.

"Give me the phone, Lanie," Beckett said, standing with her hand outstretched. Lanie clutched it to her chest petulantly, and stuck out her tongue.

Dude, Jenny is video calling me," Castle said, holding up his phone. Ryan blinked and snatched it, quickly accepting the call.

"Babe?" he asked. "What's going on?" The other guys quickly huddled around the phone, all jockeying for a better view. All they could see was shadow until they heard a voice.

"Lanie, give me the phone!"

"That's Beckett," Castle said immediately.

"Shh!"

"Beckkkks, it's miiiine!"

"Your girl is druuuuunk," Castle nudged Esposito.

"SHH!"

"Lanie, I will not have you taking pictures of Amelia kissing me. Hand it over."

This time, no one said a word. They were all waiting for someone, anyone to ruin what they thought that sentence meant.

"You liked it!" Amelia's voice crackled over the line.

"You caught me off guard!" Beckett retorted, laughing. "I was not ready for that kind of commitment, Amy!"

"If you had drunk your glass of stuff, then you totallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," she paused. "What was I saying?"

"If I had my drink..." Kate started.

"Yeah, you would have totallyyy been into it and stuffffff."

"Psh, no way," came Lanie's voice. "She wants to kiss only Caaaaaaastleeeee."

Esposito and Ryan looked up at Castle, who had a studied straight face, waiting for her to contradict Lanie. It was expected. Only...none came.

"She's not denying it!" Amy screeched. "You like Castle, you liiiike Cassstle!"

"Oh hush, both of you," Beckett snapped, but her voice sounded like she was smiling.

"Admit it, come on," Lanie shouted. "No one's even listening. You like Castle. You want to sleep with Castle. That's all we're asking you to admit."

"No!" Beckett didn't sound angry, just stubborn.

"Do it or I'll let Amy kiss you again!"

"Fine, FINE!" Beckett shouted. "I like Castle, okay? I would like nothing better than to have sex with him!" she paused "Satisfied?"

"Where?" came Jenny's voice.

"That's my girl," Ryan whispered, chuckling.

"What do you mean, where?" Beckett sounded surprised.

"Where would you sleep with him?" Jenny asked.

There was nothing but silence.

"Is she considering it?" Castle asked. "Like really considering it?"

"Shh!"

"Okay, none of this leaves, here, right?" she said. Amy and Jenny agreed, and Lanie muttered, "uh huh"

"Okay then...it would be on my kitchen counter."

"Nice!" Lanie exclaimed. Castle could feel his face getting hot.

"And then a second round in the shower."

"Even better," Lanie's voice sounded suspiciously closer to the phone. "You hearing her, Writer boy?" she whispered.

"Thank you Lanie," Castle whispered back.

"Wait for it..." she replied.

"How on earth would that even transpire?" Jenny asked. The boys all three shifted in their seats, and leaned closer to the phone. Kate seemed to have taken the seat next to Lanie, because her voice came in clear and loud.

"Well, it would be after we solved a really tough case, right, and I would invite him back here for drinks. Have any of you guys read 'Heat Wave'?"

"Yeah," came the chorus of females.

"Okay, like the tequila scene between Heat and Rook, only we don't make it to the bedroom," her voice sounded throatier, and Castle swallowed thickly.

"Hey, if you guys are just going to stare at that phone all night, we're just gonna leave," one of the three strippers, Candy, grumbled. The boys ignored her.

"I would let him take me on the kitchen counter. His mouth would taste like limes and tequila," she said, and the sound of glass touching the table came over the line. Beckett had taken a drink, and her voice sounded stronger now. "And after I would lead him to the shower and do it all over again."

"Wow," Lanie said, chuckling. "I bet he would die if he heard you say that."

"He's still alive, babe," Esposito laughed.

The line went dead, and Ryan took his phone back. Castle was still staring into space, his mouth open.

"Dude, our strippers left!" Esposito said, sounding more amused than angry.

Castle ignored them, wrapped in his own mind and his own imagination.

"_Why didn't we just go to the bar?" he asked, leaning against the counter. _

"_I figured it was time to have you over for a drink, Castle," she purred, handing him a lime and a knife while she poured them drinks. He took a bite of the lime while she took one of the shots. It wasn't how it was written in the book but it seemed like they were both focused on other things, or other thoughts. _

"_Castle..."he turned to face her and suddenly her lips were on his and her hands were in his hair, and he pushed her against the counter and lifted her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled his head back, dipping low to kiss his neck and he freed himself to kiss her magnificent lips again, feeling her grind against his jeans and knowing this was some kind of fresh torture. _

"Castle!" he jumped, and looked around. Ryan and Esposito looked amused, and Castle rolled his eyes.

"I'm a best-selling novelist. I have one of the greatest imaginations of most American's these days. The girl of my dreams just described how she wanted to sleep with me. You couldn't just let me die with my thoughts?"

Ryan chuckled and picked up the empty beer bottles from the ground. Esposito laughed. "Bro, why die with your thoughts when you know it's going to happen eventually?"

Richard Castle, right then, could die a happy man.

A/N: Sorry this is kind of crappy, but IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, BRO! SO WHATEVER!


	7. Avoidance

A/N: Thank you guys SO MUCH for the reviews and the birthday wishes! It seriously made my day! I'm so glad you guys didn't dislike the chapter, and that you enjoyed Lanie's deviousness. So, okay, this is quite possibly an explosive chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one too. So...Let's get right down to it...There will be a long Author's Note at the end so I can thank all of you for your awesomeness!

Disclaimer: I may have awesome reviewers, but no amount of awesome can get me these characters. The plot is mine.

Chapter Seven: Avoidance

It was sunny the day of Kevin and Jenny's wedding. Kate Beckett spend an inordinate amount of time loitering outside the hotel, in a loose pair of linen sleep pants and a t-shirt, watching cars go by, while the rest of the women slept off their hangovers or wasted all the hot water. She watched a young woman carrying a baby kiss her daughter's forehead and smiled as the child giggled. She spotted a coffee shop at the end of the block and made her way toward it. She passed a homeless man shivering on the street corner and made a note to buy a coffee for him too.

She passed him a steaming cup of hot chocolate on her way back, and nodded silently when he responded with "God bless." She sipped her coffee on the pavement next to him.

"What do you do, ma'am?" he asked in a soft yet rough voice.

She turned to him and put her coffee on the ground next to her, wrapping her arms around her knees. "I'm a homicide detective."

His eyes looked distant. "So you're a good woman every day."

"Excuse me?"

"I just mean that you didn't just decide to give a homeless man a warm drink. You are a good woman every day. You take killers off these streets. You save lives." He patted her on the arm, and even though he smelled like a dumpster, she didn't move away.

"I guess that's one way to look at it," she agreed.

"It's the only way," he insisted. "Thank you, detective. In a world like mine, people with hearts like you are hard to find."

"I hope there are more out there." Unwillingly, she wondered if Castle would have bought him a coffee. Absently, she remembered his loft was just around the corner from here. She wondered if the guys had their bachelor party there.

"There's one guy who gave me these blankets," the guy motioned to his cocoon of wool and fleece. "A couple of years ago. He's a nice man. He has a heart like you."

The way her heart warmed, Beckett didn't have to ask who it was. She knew it was Castle. "I have to go," she said, standing up quickly.

"Thank you for the hot chocolate!" The man yelled after her as she sprinted back to the hotel. She barreled through the revolving door and ignored the elevator, taking the stairs two at a time. She resisted the urge to jump through the door, thinking it would look way too suspicious to all the hungover, cranky women in the room. So she took a deep breath, calmed herself, and pushed the door open.

Lanie, Jenny, and Amelia were all piled on one of the large fluffy beds, flipping through channels and eating room service.

"Where have you been, missy?" Lanie asked, raising an eyebrow. "Going to your kitchen counter?" the girls chuckled as Beckett's face turned red.

"I cannot believe I told you guys that," she muttered, rummaging through her drawer. "No, I was not, thank you very much," she retorted. "I went to get coffee."

"We have coffee here, you know that right?"

"I wanted to go out," she returned petulantly. "Shouldn't you ladies be getting all prettied up? You know, wedding and all?"

"Hairdresser will be here in ten," Jenny said, checking her bare wrist as if there was a watch there.

"Hairdresser?"

Lanie looked incredulous. "You didn't think you were just gonna shower and go, did you?" she asked.

Beckett shifted uncomfortably. "I hoped..."

"Well, too bad, Kate. You're getting your hair done," Amelia intoned, sipping her water.

She rolled her eyes. "Can I at least shower?" she asked, directing the question at Jenny. Jenny waved her hands in a manner that said 'do as you wish.'

Kate shook her head in exasperation but smiled as she shut the bathroom door behind her.

When she shut off the water, she could hear the chatter of the women and a male voice accompanying it. She wrapped herself in the fluffy white towel and pressed her wet ear against the warm door. It wasn't a voice she recognized. Keeping her ears perked, listening for any sound of the groomsmen, she dressed in her emerald green lace bra and thong, grinning as she realized they would match her dress, a small coincidence to a woman who didn't believe in coincidences. She slipped her robe on over it and padded out into the room, towel-drying her hair.

"Here's the beautiful Kate!" a tan man, his hands sticky with hairspray, winked at her from the mirror. "I was just hearing about you and how gorgeous you are," he glanced down at Jenny. "You weren't kidding," he said in a conspiratorial whisper. She giggled.

"Uh...hi?"

"Do me a favor and blow dry your hair, honey," the man said. "I have an idea for your hair. My name is Jess, by the way."

"It's nice to meet you, Jess," Kate said as she headed to the bathroom with her hair dryer. Over the loud breathy scream of the dryer, she could hear Jess and the girls chattering happily. She would normally be a part of it, but she felt an unnerving sense of urgency in the pit of her stomach. Almost like nervousness.

She pushed the thought away. She wasn't getting married. What was the big deal? She flipped her hair over, so she was blow-drying it upside down, and watched the brown hair dry, ignoring any other thoughts that threatened to pervade her consciousness.

"How are those blankets holding up, Jimmy?" Richard Castle took a seat next to the very same homeless man Kate Beckett had shared a drink with, and rubbed the material between his two first fingers. "Still warm?"

The man nodded, still sipping the hot chocolate that was going cold. "Thank you," he said. "You don't know how wonderful you have been to me."

Castle scoffed, doing the 'psh' hand gesture. "It was nothing, trust me," he said. "I'm gonna have to get you some new ones for Christmas," he bumped shoulders with the man companionably. He noticed the coffee cup. "Who got you the hot chocolate? Good Samaritan?"

"A homicide detective, actually," the man said, looking into the remnants of the cup with a smile on his face. "She was beautiful, and so kind," he glanced to Castle's face, which had frozen. "You would have liked her."

Castle's eyes were on the hotel, where Kate Beckett's hair was getting curled. "Yeah...I bet I would." He shook his head and looked down at Jimmy. "Here," he handed him his bag of donuts. "I have to go."

"Sorry I'm not entertaining enough!" Jimmy called after him with a chuckle. "Weirdo."

Kate shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously as she waiting for the other women to put their shoes on. Jenny, seeming remarkably calm for the bride, was laughing with her mother, and Kate was the one who kept jiggling her foot. Why was she so nervous?

"Relax, girlfriend, you're going to be fine," Lanie said, nudging her. "You look like you're about to barf."

"Well, I can't help it, okay?" She looked at her best friend, who looked like she was ready and willing to listen. "Josh is supposed to be sitting in those chairs out there. How am I supposed to just walk up to him and say get out of my life forever? I mean, isn't that a little harsh?"

"Kate, you know you're going to have to do it, right? And the sooner you do, the better off you'll be," Lanie said, looping her arm through hers. "You knew it was going to come to this eventually, right?"

"What do you mean?" Kate asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh come on, we all know you're going to end up with Castle. You, even, have known this since two years ago, Kate, you've always known. He's always known. Now he's just waiting for you." Lanie patted Kate's arm in a sisterly way. "Now grow some balls and make it happen!"

Kate pulled away from her friend. "Lanie!"

"What?" she looked innocently unabashed.

"It's time," Jenny's mother said, and led the way down to the church doors. The knot in Kate's stomach tightened to a pain, and she clutched her stomach and followed Lanie, who reached back to take her hand and gave it a squeeze.

They met the groomsmen by the doors, and Kate, completely obscured by Lanie, went unnoticed until she locked eyes with Esposito. He looked at her matching dress, her long hair tied in a low side ponytail, pretty curls framing her beautiful face, and smiled, giving Lanie a kiss on the cheek. Castle was the last in the procession of the groomsmen, but the second he entered the room, all oxygen left.

Castle had rushed back to his loft just as Ryan called him, asking him where the hell he was, because they all had to get dressed already. He threw on his tux, with an emerald green tie, and did a dance in the living room. "Ta-da!" he announced.

"Great, you look amazing, let's go," Esposito grabbed him by the arm and led him out. It wasn't until the door to the loft slammed behind him that Castle realized today was the day Beckett was going to see Josh again. And his mood had flattened. He had stayed silent the whole way to the church, and ignored everyone's prodding as the ride continued. But when he saw her, looking radiant in the emerald green gown, he couldn't help but send a selfish wish up to God that today was the day that the benefit of the doubt wasn't enough to save Josh. That she had somehow had an epiphany during her sleep that made her ready for him.

She looked up, and her jaw fell a little, just like his. They stared hungrily at each other, their gazes crackling in the cavernous hallway so obviously that it seemed like everyone could see it. She snapped her jaw closed and fixed him with a smile so beautiful he actually felt his knees go wobbly. He leaned back against the wall and smiled back, knowing he looked less than sexy and more like an eager five year old, but she blushed just the same.

"Jenny, you look beautiful," he said, kissing her cheek politely. "Lanie, as usual, Amelia," he hugged her and finally made his way to Kate. "You look..." his pause stretched on.

"For a writer you seem to have trouble with words," she said quietly.

He looped his arm through hers as Amelia, walked down the aisle alone. She had insisted on it, and looked like a badass doing it. Kate smiled.

"I am at a loss for words," he whispered into her ear as Lanie and Esposito went next. "You look as radiant as a bride, and you're not even in white."

She blushed again and was about to reply when the Castle led her down the aisle. Her arm looped through his shook when she saw Josh sitting a few rows from the front. Castle, as inconspicuously as he could, placed his other hand on Kate's hand that was cradled in the crook of his arm. She glanced up at him and saw his lips quirk upward, just for a second.

Much too soon, they reached the end of the aisle. They parted, their hands lingering together until the last possible second, and they took their places beside Esposito and Lanie. When everyone turned to look at the bride, Castle's eyes stayed on Kate's. She smiled and felt the nervous knot in her stomach loosening.

Even the loosened knot she felt in her stomach was not enough to make her walk right up to Josh and dump him on the spot. He had spotted her, as the ceremony ended, but she had ducked into the crowd, away from everyone else, and retreated to the bathroom, where Josh couldn't get to her.

She knew she was being childish, but she couldn't help it. She felt like after Josh had verbally attacked Castle and had accused him of trying to seduce her, their breakup was not going to be pretty. Especially with Castle around looking so...dashing. Kate exhaled loudly, trying to push the image of Castle in his tux out of her head as she desperately tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

Castle pushed the door open with his food and waved a handkerchief. "Decent?" he asked.

Kate laughed. "Yeah." Castle pushed his way into the bathroom. "What are you doing in the ladies bathroom?"

"Looking for you," he said simply.

Kate looked bewildered. "Why?"

Castle looked into her confused eyes, and she watched as his gaze flickered to her lips. Her heart kicked against her ribs. "I wanted..." he paused again, and Kate, without thinking, licked her lips, tasting the gloss Jess has applied there. "I wanted to ask you to dance, and I very well can't do that with you hiding in here," he said.

"I'm not hiding," she protested.

"Sure," he said. He held out his hand and waited.

Kate stared at it. "What?"

"Dance with me, Kate," he said, shaking his hand. "Come on, the party's in full swing. Have fun."

Kate contemplated what Josh would think if he saw her dancing with Castle before she even spoke to him. He would be annoyed, and probably upset. But, she realized suddenly, she wanted nothing more than to dance with Castle. So she threw her reservations out the door and took his hand.

"Let's go." He led her from the bathroom to the dance floor.

He placed a gentlemanly hand on her lower back and took her other hand. With a smirk, she led him into a crowd of people she did not know and moved his hand so it was resting on her ass. The hand she had on his shoulder tightened into a fist and she pulled him close so their bodies were touching.

"Beckett..." Castle said, looking almost terrified. Kate smiled and swung her hips to the left, taking his hips with her. The song started, a fast, sensual tango. Castle's face tinged pink as she brought her lips to his ear.

"Castle, for once in your life, just shut up and touch me," she whispered. They moved like water, fluid like they were made to dance together. Their breathing came faster and Kate even gasped when Castle dipped her low and traced from her throat all the way to her stomach with his finger. He pulled her up and her face was mere centimeters from his, her eyes were locked on his lips. He let go of her hand and ran his palms up her sides, and felt her shiver. Her eyes fluttered closed.

Her tongue flitted out to wet her dry, heaving lips, and Castle mimicked her, feeling drunk, even with no alcohol in his system. She opened her eyes and peered up at him through her thick lashes, portraying vulnerability even when looking like she wanted nothing more than to pin him against the wall.

The song intensified, but Castle and Beckett stopped dancing, wrapped up in nothing but each other.

"Castle," she almost whimpered, barely daring to breathe.

"I'm at your mercy," he replied, his hand returning to hers.

She tugged him gently and led him from the dance floor to the gazebo outside, behind a group of trees where no one could see them. She pulled him closer, so they were almost dancing again. She looked up into his depthless eyes; his questioning eyes probed hers. She seemed to be struggling with herself.

"What, Kate?" he asked.

She closed her eyes, and her cheeks darkened to a deep red. He could feel the heat emanating from her as her embarrassment manifested itself on her face. He waited, none too patiently, for her to speak, but she wouldn't.

"Kate?"

"I want you so bad," she said so quietly he wasn't sure he heard her. But his heart seemed to know; it tripled its speed.

"What?"

She looked imploringly up into his eyes again. "I want you so bad. It haunts me, in my dreams, in my thoughts. I can't get you out of my head, out of my fantasies. I don't...I don't know what I can do, but you're always there. It's so...frustrating!" she stopped talking, and removed her hands from his, and started wringing them together.

Castle was at a loss for words. He stared down at her, silent. He didn't want to speak and ruin the confession she had just given. He had wished for this, for so long, that he was sure it was a dream. There was no way this could be real. But if it was a dream...

He pushed her backward gently, against the wall of the chapel, and pinned her fidgeting arms above her head by the wrists. She didn't struggle. His entire body was pressed into hers; he could feel her heartbeat speeding up. He lowered his lips to hers, and stopped with a centimeter left of space. Her eyes were already closed.

He closed the space eagerly, devouring her mouth hungrily, releasing her arms instantly to feel her entire body in his hands, shaking with delight. She moaned into his mouth, and pulled his lower lip into her mouth, sinking her teeth into it before breaking contact to take a hasty gasp of air. Her hands, quaking, were clenched tightly on his jacket. She brought one up to touch his face tenderly. He kissed it sweetly and she pulled his hand to her mouth and sucked gently on one of his fingers before releasing it. He groaned quietly, clenching his jaw.

"Kate?" a voice shot through the trees, and the color that filled the two immediately evaporated. Beckett and Castle stared at each other, chests heaving, terrified.

"Josh?" Castle whispered. Beckett nodded silently, her eyes closed. Castle looked crestfallen; Kate took his hand and squeezed it, placing it upon her heart. He could feel her heart, still racing, starting to slow. He looked into her eyes and understood. Josh or not, what had just happened was real, and it meant the world to her. 

Just like it did to him.

"Shhh..." Castle held up a finger to his lips, and he looked so comical that Beckett almost snorted in laughter. He put his hand over her mouth and the grin fell off her face. She raised an eyebrow at him again and took another finger into her mouth. She watched Castle's expression as it went from shock to pleasure.

"Jesus, Beckett, you're killing me," he whispered, taking her hand and gripping it tightly. She squeezed it back, and he closed his eyes. He reclaimed his hand and placed it on her neck, tracing her collarbone all the way to the seam of her dress. She leaned back, offering her chest to him, and sighed contentedly. His free hand gently pushed her head back up and he sucked on her lower lip and pushed her easily against the wall. She wrapped her leg around his and pulled his lower half against hers. He growled against her mouth, and she smiled as she teased his belt with her nimble fingers.

"Beckett," he pulled away, and cupped her face.

"Castle," she moaned, her eyes still closed. He felt his body respond, and swallowed thickly.

"We shouldn't do this, not here, not now."

She finally opened her eyes; they were heavy lidded, dazed. "What? No, yeah, you're totally right. We should get back to the party, right?"

He pressed his lips to her neck, and he had to hold her up as her legs turned to jelly. "I really don't want to. But we should."

"So why are we?" she asked, giving him the same vulnerable and unbelievably sexy look she had fixed him with only a few minutes ago.

He looked into her eyes and smiled. "Because I know exactly how the rest of this is supposed to go, and the trees behind the chapel are not in the story."

A/N: So, how did you like the first Caskett makeout scene? I enjoyed writing it, but that was just me. Don't fret, the wedding isn't over yet! Okay, so here are my thanks... LittleLizzieZentara, your review made me giggle like mad! It was wonderful! Aolande1, well thank you for not thinking it's crappy! Yeah, I had to make Lanie the character that practically forces them to get over themselves and admit they are crazy about each other, because Beckett is stubbornnnn! Mogget0607, LoTS-Fanatic, deir54321, imaginationrunsfree, Emi Tonks Cullen, Casckett, Alexis Dawn, Isabel, NCISchick, tansypool, Sammichbatch, thank you all for contradicting my statement of my chapter being crap! Bella Paige, thank you once again for your wonderful review, I love when people laugh at what I write! So you all are all wonderful! Okay, now review for me!


	8. Another Case to Flee

A/N: Thank you guys for your review! Oh, and to those telling me that scene breaks would be good, I promise I'm trying! I put asterisks between scenes on the Word Doc, and then when it gets uploaded, they get...deleted? I guess? I have no idea. But either way, now there will be letters there, so if you see random letters, they are not important, they're just scene breaks. I'm glad you enjoyed the makeout scene, guys! Alright, the wedding is almost over, so let's finish this!

Disclaimer: Ooh, I wish so hard. But no.

Chapter Eight: A New Case To Flee

"I have to go," Kate told Lanie as she grabbed her coat from coat check. Lanie narrowed her eyes at her, looking shrewdly at her face. Kate watched her warily from the corner of her eye as she slid on her coat. "What?"

"Your lipstick is all gone," Lanie noted, tapping her lip with her nail. "Why?"

"I was nervous," Kate lied. "I've been...chewing my lip. Sorry to disappoint." She felt her cheeks flush, and shifted awkwardly from one foot to another.

"Have you talked to Josh?" Lanie asked. Kate glanced back at the dance floor, where Castle was dancing with Jenny, his eyes on her. Lanie crossed her arms and waited for answer that didn't come.

Kate turned on her heel and started for the door, waving down a cab. She chose not to respond. Lanie stood in the warmth of the doorway while the chill snuck in from the door and Kate stepped into a cab. She slammed the door behind her and gave the cabbie her address. She wasn't sure why she was running away so fast. She wanted to break up with Josh, but she couldn't do it. Not at Jenny's wedding, when everyone was supposed to be happy. Not with the taste of Castle's lips on her tongue.

She let out a long, shuddering breath and let her mind wander to their frantic moment in the trees. She wondered how far she would have let it go if Josh hadn't interrupted. She traced her lips with her finger and closed her eyes. She knew he had feelings for her, she had feelings for him. She was tired of fighting it. She was exhausted. She leaned back against the cracked leather seat of the cab and exhaled.

The cabbie had to wake her up outside her apartment. She thanked him and gave him an extra twenty. She trudged up the stairs, focusing solely on the stairs in front of her so her mind wouldn't wander anywhere else. She could feel herself aching to relive her moment with Castle, but she resisted. What she had done was wrong, and a moment of passion had turned her into something she hated to think about.

A cheater.

KBRCSKNF

Kate Beckett was normally not an avoider, though she found herself doing more of it these days than she was used to. She had left a message on Castle's phone saying he didn't need to come in today, because a body hadn't dropped and she was just going to do paperwork today anyway, but when she heard the elevator open, her chest tightened, and she knew it was him. He had come anyway. She set her coffee down.

She immediately stood and walked nonchalantly toward the end of the hall, away from the elevator. She looked up and Esposito caught her eye, looking alone at his desk with Ryan away on his honeymoon. She heard Castle call her name and sped up, making a beeline for the bathroom, and she thanked God, it had a lock.

She threw the lock and leaned against the door, breathing heavily than she needed to for a speed walk. She heard Castle lean against the door and sigh. "Kate? Please talk to me," his voice was muffled, but his voice dripped with sincerity. She stayed silent and after a few minutes she heard his retreating footsteps. But he wasn't leaving, he wouldn't be that easy.

She slid down to the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. The stall doors were paint chipped and it smelled weird, but she stayed still. After a few minutes of studied silence, she heard the lock on the door turn. She leaped to her feet and her mouth dropped open when Esposito pushed open the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind him and replacing the lock.

"How did you...?" she asked, motioning to the door.

"You're not the only one who knows how to pick locks," he reasoned, leaning against the sink. "Now, wanna tell me what the hell you're doing?"

"I was trying to..." Beckett trailed off. What exactly was she trying to do, hiding in the bathroom? There was no real excuse she could give. No plausible one anyway. She hadn't told anyone what had happened at the wedding. She was afraid of what someone would say when they realized she was still dating Josh. She sounded like a horrible person, like one of the suspects they interviewed that had alibis with their mistresses.

"You are hiding from Castle," Esposito finished for her. "Why?"

Beckett turned her eyes away from him and stared at her reflection in the dingy mirror. She had taken extra care with her appearance today, knowing she would look like a wreck if she didn't. The brief nap she had taken in the cab was the only sleep she had gotten. She had failed at keeping her mind off of Castle when she got back to her apartment. She lied in her bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of his hands on her body, his lips on her neck. She shivered just thinking about it. Then her mind would shift to Josh's face as he stood in the doorway of her hospital room, telling her to stop letting Castle shadow her, and his face as he sat in the pew as she walked down the aisle with Castle.

Esposito stepped in front of her. "You can either tell me, or I'm going to get Lanie. And you know I can at least keep my mouth shut. Lanie will tell the Captain, Ryan, Jenny, even the dead people down in the morgue, and that one guy.." Beckett shook her head, thinking off all the people, and before she knew it, the words were spilling out of her mouth.

"I kissed Castle."

"Wanna run that by me again?"

Beckett sighed in exasperation and turned to Esposito. "Seriously?"

Esposito raised his eyebrows. "Girl, all of us, and I do mean all of us, have been waiting for you to say that for almost three years now. So, yeah, I'm going to need to hear you say it again."

Beckett, now lost in her own thoughts, ignored him. "I was supposed to go talk to Josh, and I let him dance with me and ended up acting like a teenager, making out in the trees like an idiot—"

"You two made out?"

"What?"

"You just said kissed. Now it's made out. I feel like you are withholding information from me, Detective. Do we need to move this to the interrogation room?"

Beckett glared at him. He laughed and took a step back. "Okay, fine. Be like that. But you have ten seconds to get out of here before I get the captain," her mouth fell open. "That's right. I will call your boss in here to make you get out and talk to Castle."

"You wouldn't," she whispered.

"Ohhhh Captain!" Esposito called, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Esposito!" she yelled after him. She went to shut the door behind him, to lock it again, but Castle's foot stopped it. She looked down at his shoe in alarm and then up at his face. He looked worried, but the usual color that made his face look so handsome was gone. He looked scared. She bet she looked the same.

"Beckett," he said quietly. "Please."

Beckett focused on his jacket, refusing to make eye contact. She was afraid of what she would say, or what she would do, if she looked into his blue eyes. "Castle, just...go home, okay? I told you there was no work today."

"You're avoiding me," he said simply. Beckett pushed past him and fled to her desk, where she was about to fumble for her keys when the captain called her name.

"Beckett!"

Kate closed her eyes and prayed. "Sir?"

His hand slammed on her desk, and she jumped. "I will not have this silliness in my precinct," he admonished. Beckett looked up to the door of his office, where Esposito was smiling. "Get into that interrogation room. Take care of your business."

"Sir!" Beckett said, appalled.

"You too, Castle," Captain Montgomery opened the door to the interrogation room and held it open with his foot, fixing them with a sharp glare that dared them to contradict him.

"Sir, with all due respect, this is my personal business—" Beckett began, but he cut her off.

"And it's going to start affecting your work, and I can't have that. So take care of it."

"But sir—" she ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

"You can either go willingly, or I can make you go," he said calmly. He nudged the door again, and Beckett obeyed and entered, hands trembling, the interrogation room that she normally owned. But now, she felt like nothing more than a common criminal, here for questioning, asked to air her personal details to someone she didn't want to.

Castle was pushed in after her. He stared at her terrified face, looking as pale and scared as she did, and they heard the door click behind him. It echoed in the awkward silence. She took a seat where the criminals usually sat, feeling lower than one, and stared at her hands folded together on the table, clenched so tight that her knuckles were white. Castle stood in silence behind her, waiting for her to speak, or to yell at him. Anything that would give him a hint, but none came.

"Are you ever going to look at me again?" he asked quietly. Beckett, stubborn as ever, didn't answer, but fixed her eyes on the mirror, knowing that Esposito and Captain Montgomery and soon, Lanie, were standing on the other side.

"Let me ask you something," he said, taking the seat, her usual seat, across from her. "Did you regret what we did yesterday?"

She flinched, but didn't respond. Castle looked down at his hands and swallowed. "You did, didn't you?" His voice was full of hurt, and it hurt her to even hear it.

She seemed to sense his anguish, and broke her silence. "No, Castle, I—"

"No, hold on a second," he raised his voice, and she fell silent. "I have been waiting for THREE YEARS for you to say to me what you said last night, and I have dreamed, fantasized, written about what kissing you would be like, kissing you for real, not kissing you because we were undercover and I could get away with it, but for real, because you wanted to, and it finally happened. I heard words come out of your mouth that I thought I would never hear. I had given up hope of ever hearing them. I watched you kiss Will, I saw you with Demming, and then Josh, and I wished more than anything that I would get my chance one day. That I would finally have a shot at making you happy.

"Castle, you –"

"No! You have to listen to me, now. I have been listening to you for three years. Listening to you run and resist something you know is real. I want to make you happy! And last night finally felt like the beginning of that. It was the most passionate moment of my life. My writing never did it justice. I felt you, Kate. I felt your heart beating against my chest. It wasn't like writing Nikki Heat and wondering what it would feel like to touch you, to have you kiss me, it was monumentally better. So you cannot sit there, stone faced, and tell me that you regret what you did. You just can't."

"Castle, did you know that Josh cheated on me?"

Castle froze, eyes wide. "Wh...what?"

KBRCSKNF

"He did what?" Lanie stood from her chair and pushed past the Captain. "I swear, Motorcycle Boy is so BEYOND dead, his doctor buddies won't know what happened to him!"

"Lanie, sit, the conversation isn't over." Montgomery said. "Anyone else know she was kissing Castle last night?"

Lanie snapped her fingers. "All her lipstick was gone! She said she was biting her lip!"

"I bet someone was biting her lip," Esposito muttered.

KBRCSKNF

"When he was in Haiti, he hooked up with his ex-girlfriend," Kate said, staring down at her hands. "He told me immediately after it happened, and said he felt terrible, that it was a moment of weakness, that he would never do it again, etc. The whole bit. But I still spent weeks analyzing everything I had ever done, ever said around him to figure out what I had done wrong."

Castle took the seat across from her again. "There's no way that was your fault," he said, reaching for her hand.

"There's no way you can make me believe that, Castle."

"I can certainly try," he whispered, trying to make her look into his eyes.

"I went through every possible reason I could. I wasn't pretty enough, not smart enough...not around enough..."

"That is ridicul—"

"Then what did I do wrong? Why would he do that to me?" she said quietly, more to herself than to Castle, who stared at her, at a loss for what to say to make her believe him.

He stared at her eyes, brimming with tears, as she continued. "Last night, I was supposed to break up with him. But I couldn't do it at a wedding, where everyone was happy. I knew after what he said about you and what he said in the hospital that it would be anything but amicable. So I avoided him, and I ended up with you."

Castle stared at her, not daring to say anything, hoping she would give another confession like she did the night before.

"I went home, and I never spoke to him. My phone has been off since last night, and I chose to avoid you today because what we did last night turned me into what I hated for so long. It turned me into a cheater. I don't regret what happened last night, Castle. I don't think I could ever make myself regret it."

"Kate, I'm sorry, I should have—"

"Read my mind?" she laughed. "There's no way you could have known, Castle. There's no way you could have somehow figured out why." She paused. "Gosh, I'm not that girl. The one who takes back a cheater. The one who wonders why she wasn't good enough. I'm always good enough, Castle. It doesn't make any sense."

"You need to talk to Josh," Castle said softly, stroking her hand. "You need to put things to rest or it's going to haunt you until you do."

She looked down at their interlocked hands. "I know that. But that doesn't make it any easier."

"How about afterward you call me and we watch a movie at my loft?" She smiled, and he tugged gently on her hand. "I swear I will do that awkward thing guys do when they stretch to put their arm around you, and I'll be nervous and stuttering, and Alexis will be there to mitigate any disastrous moments of foot-in-mouth syndrome that I commit."

"Castle, you don't think that it might be...weird?"

"Weird to hold you? Weird to watch a movie with you? I don't think anything could be less weird."

"That sounds like—" Two loud knocks sounded on the door, and she stopped. "What the—?"

The door to the interrogation room opened, and in stepped someone Castle personally never wanted to see again. Will Sorenson, broad-shouldered in his FBI garb, stood in the doorway, smiling at Kate in a way that made Castle want to punch his lights out. She stood, pulling her hand out of his to cross her arms.

"Will?"

"Kate."

"What's going on?" she asked.

"We have a case, and I need your help," he said.

Kate followed him out the door and Castle followed behind her. A commotion came from the observation room and Lanie, Esposito and the Captain all tumbled out.

"Glad to see you fixed things, Beckett," Montgomery said, a trace of a smile on his face. Beckett rolled her eyes as Esposito high-fived Castle. Lanie fixed her with a glare.

"I want details, girl," she said.

"Kate, if you're quite ready," Will said, standing by her desk.

Kate took a deep breath and prepared herself for another case.

A/N: Yeah, this was a lot of talking and stuff, and it's not one of my favorite chapters, but trust me, there's more good ones coming up!


	9. Normally

A/N: Reviewers, I seriously love you guys. I did bring Will back for a reason, I promise. Also, he was the ex of Kate's that I disliked the most, I think. He and Castle have a nice jealousy thing going there. Also, I'm glad all of you liked the interrogation room aspect, and I'm doubly glad you liked Castle's speech. Okay, CONTINUE! (Season 2, episode 4, Fool me Once, is when Castle does the "HA!" by the way.)

Disclaimer: Not quite, but my Christmas list has them on it!

Chapter Nine: Normally

Will, who had returned to Boston a few months ago, had been trying to track down a killer who had been stabbing middle aged Caucasian males on the dark streets of downtown Boston. He had gotten DNA from under one of the victim's fingernails, and had traced it to a man named Michael Wilks, who had been married to a supermodel by the name of Lynn James. Their marriage fell through when he found out she had been cheating on him with one of her photographers, who happened to meet the same description of the victims.

"So, I still don't understand," Castle said, making a beeline for his usual chair before Will could take it, "Why are you here, then, if your killer is in Boston?"

Will, who had been explaining all of this with his back to Castle, finally turned around. "What are you still doing here?" he asked. "She hasn't gotten tired of you yet?"

"Will? He makes a good point," Beckett interjected. "Answer the question."

He turned back to her and Castle took the opportunity to stick his tongue out at the back of Will's head. Beckett wrinkled her nose to stifle a smile and tried to focus on Will.

"Because he has moved to New York. There have been three murders of the exact same M.O. in the past two weeks. He has moved here, Kate, and I need your help to catch him."

Beckett looked confused. "I thought you knew who he was. So why not track him down and pick him up?"

"Yes, we know who he is, but we can't track him down. We've gotten close, but he always seems to be one step ahead of us," Will reasoned, leaning on the edge of her desk, cutting Beckett's view of Castle.

"And where is your supermodel now?" Beckett asked.

"She lives in New York," Will replied.

Castle sat forward. "You don't think he's stepping up his game? Like killing guys who look like the one who ruined his life are no longer enough, now he's going to go after the woman who cheated on him?"

"Put a tail on her," Beckett instructed. "If he contacts her, I want to know."

"Katie?"

Beckett froze, eyes darting to all available exits. She felt the room go still; Esposito raised an eyebrow at her, Castle bit his lip, the Captain closed his office door. Lanie growled on her way by, and Will just blinked. Josh was standing outside the elevator, his phone in hand, his helmet underneath his arm.

"Josh!" she exclaimed, her voice sounding stronger than she expected. "Don't you have work...right now?" she checked her watch without really paying attention.

"I took the day off," he said.

"Oh, now you take the day off," she muttered.

Josh blanched. "I came here to ask you if you were avoiding me, but it's obvious you're too busy with your job to care that I called you at least ten times since the wedding."

Will, the king of bad timing, took this time to offer his hand to Josh. "Hi, I'm Will Sorenson."

Josh shook his hand without taking his eyes off Kate. "And now I see you here cozying up with your ex-boyfriend and the writer."

Kate scoffed. "We're working on a case, Josh, and we're a little busy, so you can say your piece and leave, or just leave, whichever." Castle raised his eyebrows at her gall, and even Will looked surprised.

"Can we talk...in private?" he asked, angling his head of black hair away from Castle and Will, who were obviously eavesdropping. Kate motioned toward the interrogation room that she had just left. Josh followed her in and she slammed the door behind him.

This was a much different atmosphere from the last conversation she had in this room. Josh sat where the criminals did, and she chose to stand. She thought she would be nervous, and she had been, until he had started making comments about Will and Castle. Especially Castle.

"Well?" she held out her arms in expectation. "Let's hear it."

"Kate, you told me we were going to talk at the wedding," he said. "And then you just avoid me, dance with Castle, and leave."

"I decided you weren't worth my time at the wedding."

He rolled his eyes. "So you run from me? That's real mature, Kate."

She could hear muffled yelling from the observation room. She brushed it off and slammed her hands on the table. "We are not about to go into the maturity conversation, okay? You have done plenty of things that could qualify you to be sent back to grade school, so you might want to have a better argument than that."

"Come on, I was going to try to make it up to you," he said.

"Oh how were you going to do that?" she asked, waving her hands wildly. "Bring me champagne, dance with me? Tell me I look pretty?"

"You looked beautiful," he said quietly.

"Save it."

"Are you ever going to forgive me?" he asked loudly. "It was just one minor lapse in memory, and that's it. We were doing fine before this!"

"And what about Aurelia, Josh? Was that just a lapse in memory? Did you forget you were dating me when you were slipping it to her in the wilderness?"

"Are you...? I thought we were through this!"

"We were never through it, Josh, I was never over it!"

Tears were brimming in her eyes and she angrily forced them back. Josh looked as angry as she did, but he refused to stand up.

"I told you it meant nothing."

"You see, if it had been a one-night stand with a total stranger I might believe you," she said, turning her back to Josh to wipe her eyes. "But it wasn't. It was Aurelia. The one you were going to marry."

"And what about Castle, Kate?" she heard his chair scrape backward as he stood. "You expect me to believe that nothing has ever happened between you two?"

"Did you love me, Josh?" she asked, ignoring his question. "Did you ever love me?"

He fell silent. "Of course I did."

"I don't believe you."

He looked exasperated. "I was supposed to go back to Haiti, you remember? But Aurelia was there, and you were here. I chose to stay here. I chose you. So why does this still matter?"

"I trusted you, Josh. If you hadn't told me, I never would have thought to accuse you. But here you are, accusing me."

He slammed his hands on the table. "I've seen you two together, the way you talk, the way you look at each other. The way the world disappears when you two are speaking. How can you not expect me to believe that you two haven't been fooling around behind my back?"

"Because part of a relationship is where you trust me."

"And what happened when you two disappeared into the trees at the wedding last night, huh?"

Beckett winced, but didn't say anything.

"So why does it matter if I accuse you when you're holding Aurelia over my head?"

"It always matters, Josh! Because you can't go preaching fidelity to me when you broke my heart first!" a frustrated tear ran down her cheek, and she wiped it away.

"You did, didn't you? Something happened with you and Castle!"

"Get out," she whispered. "Get out, Josh."

"Kate, I—"

"Get out before I make you," she growled. "I don't want to see you again."

Josh stared at her angry face for a few more seconds before he grabbed his helmet off the table and left. Castle and Will, infinitely sneakier than the others, were waiting at her desk when Josh stormed by. Will watched him go, but Castle kept his eyes on Beckett. She stared at him from the doorway of the interrogation room, and shut the door, herself inside, everyone else out. She leaned against the wall next to the door, and slid down to the floor, staring at the space in front of her, unfocused.

A knock came at the door and it swung open to reveal Castle, who closed the door behind him.

"Just go, Castle," she said, her voice broken.

He shook his head and sat down next to her. "No," he said, holding his arms out for her. "I'm not going anywhere."

After spending months hearing Josh tell her he was going somewhere and having him disappear for months, hearing the opposite made her burst into embarrassed tears. She leaned into his arms and he sheltered her, stroking her hair and whispering that it was all going to be okay. She clutched his jacket tightly and closed her eyes against the tide of tears and steadied herself.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He looked down at her, surprised. "Sorry for what?" he asked.

"Sorry for losing it," she said. "Sorry for being so upset."

"No," he shook his head at her. "You don't have to apologize to me for something that obviously meant a lot to you. You cared about him. I understand that." Kate nodded and leaned onto his shoulder again. "I think he's a douche, but that's just me."

She chuckled into his jacket and looked up. "Where's Will?"

"I told him to go put a tail on Lynn James and that you would call him in the morning," he said, standing up. He held out a hand to Kate, who ignored it and got up on her own. "I figured tonight it's all about you, me, and a couch."

Kate raised her eyebrows and smirked.

"A movie, you perv!" Castle admonished. "Man, you have a naughty mind!"

"Castle." He stopped his teasing and stared at her, waiting for her to chide him for his immature comments. She leaned in close to his ear. "You have no idea."

"Aww, that's not even right, Becks!" he called after her. She smirked as she reached her desk, picking up her phone and keys. The tears she had cried had dried on her cheeks, and they felt stiff as she smiled up at Castle.

"Well, are we going, or what?" she asked.

He looked surprised. "Wait, you're serious? We're actually going to the loft to watch a movie?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, if you don't want to..." she trailed off.

He shook a finger at her. "No no no, you are not getting away that easy, come on!" he motioned to the door.

"You know what? I have a lot of paperwork to do..." she began rummaging through her drawers. Castle scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder, fireman style. "What are you doing?"

He made his way to the Captain's office, nudging the door open with his foot. "Cap, I'm taking her out on a mental health day, is that okay?"

"Say no!" she shouted. "Captain, say no, sir!"

The Captain got up and leaned over to look at her face. He seemed to see something he liked, because he smiled and patted Castle on the shoulder. "Yeah, that's fine. Make sure you're on time tomorrow, Beckett."

"Thank you sir!" Castle shouted as he carried her to the elevator.

She laughed the whole way there. "Castle, you can put me down now," she said. He ignored her and pressed the button with his hip to call the elevator. When the doors dinged open, he waited until they had closed behind them before he put her down. She smiled mischievously and hooked her fingers in his belt loops, pulling him close to her body. He looked down at her in alarm, and she leaned in close.

He swallowed thickly as her lips drifted close to his without touching. Their whole bodies were just barely touching. "Tempting, isn't it?" she whispered.

Normally, Castle would have restrained himself. Normally, he would have backed away, and normally he would have made a joke out of the look she was giving him. But this was not normal circumstances. She told him she wanted him. She said she cared about him. She dumped Josh.

He pushed her against the wall of the elevator and looked down into her face. Her chest was rising and falling faster than normal. Her eyes shined with the look she usually gave him when she was flirting with him. But now he could back up his claims. He pressed his lips against the soft skin of her jaw, and heard her exhale next to him. His hands came up to block any way of her escape as he kissed her pulse point, under her neck, and behind her ear. His tongue flitted out to barely brush her earlobe, and he felt her shudder. Her hands had been frozen at her side when he pushed her, out of surprise, but now they came to life, brushing against his chest ever so softly, down to his belt, then all the way up to his face.

"Castle, kiss me for real," she whispered into his neck, and he placed a kiss on her throat.

"Call me Richard, and I will," he replied, pulling her closer.

She chuckled softly against his skin, and her breath made him shiver. "Never," she whispered seductively.

He kissed her collarbone, feeling her breathing hitch, and smiled. "Come on, Kate," he said softly. He let go of one of her hips to pull the knob on the elevator, making it halt between floors. "Call me Richard."

Her breathing was heavy. "No," she said. He kissed her jaw again, right next to her lips, and felt her shift, itching to make him kiss her on the lips. He kissed her on the jaw, directly under her ear, where he knew she liked it, and caught her as her knees went weak.

"Say it," he said.

She sighed. "Make me."

He pressed his entire body into hers and traced her silhouette tenderly with his hands. He ran his hands down the buttons on her shirt and wrapped a hand around her thigh, pulling up against his hips. He slowly started inching his hand up her thigh, as slowly as he dared, as quickly as he could handle, and she arched her back against the wall of the elevator, closing her eyes. She put both hands on his jacket and pulled him as close to her as she could, and leaned into his chest.

"Richard," she whispered delicately into his ear. He smiled and covered her mouth with his roughly. She sighed and wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands around his shoulders, and she released them to run her hands through his hair and he groaned into her mouth, feeling as high as he had last night, like he never wanted to stop. Her legs tightened around his waist and he released her, letting her land like a cat on the floor of the elevator. She paused to fix her hair and pushed the knob in, letting the elevator continue its course down to the ground floor.

She was still breathing heavily when the door opened. "Remind me," she said, "to tempt you like that more often."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "Elevator sex might be better than the kitchen counter," he said to himself.

Kate, who had been walking in front of him, froze. "What did you say?"

Shit. Shit shit shit. Castle looked around, up at the buildings, down at the pavement. "Want a hotdog? I want a hotdog."

She put a hand on his chest, stopping him. "What did you say about the kitchen counter?" she asked again.

"Um...I don't really remember...you know, I'm not really good at remembering things...and...stuff?"

"Castle, tell me now, or I'm going home."

He stared into her eyes, wondering how much he dared push her. When he realized she wasn't kidding, the words fell out of his mouth. "Lanie video called us during the bachelorette party and we heard all of your speech about sleeping with me on the kitchen...counter..." she was no longer looking at him. "Kate?"

"I'm going to kill her!" she growled. She actually turned to go back to the precinct, but Castle caught her around the waist.

"Actually, there's a way we can get back at her...without beating her up..." he said, his trickster face firmly painted on. "You in?"

Kate smiled. "Movie first, then diabolical plans."

He hailed a taxi. "Deal."

A/N: MAKE OUT SCENE TWO. You're welcome. Kidding. Anyway, read and review. Love you guys!


	10. Into the Gray

A/N: Okay, I'm going to lay it down for you guys. My birthday was on Wednesday, as much of you know, because your reviews included birthday wishes. Thank you again for those. Well, afterward, my friends stopped talking to me, because of some stupid drama and stuff like that. To put it one way, I hang out with a lot of guys, all of which liked me at one point. So when I stayed at one friend's apartment instead of another, they got all offended. Now none of them are speaking to me. It has been three days since I've gotten a text. So, I want you all to know how much I truly appreciate you, because these reviews are like filling a void. Every time my phone beeps to tell me I have a notification, it's better than getting a text from a friend because I know you guys don't owe me anything, and you still spend the time to give me your feedback. So, thank you guys so much for being here, even without physically being here.

Disclaimer: Nope.

Chapter Ten: Into the Gray

"Dad! Detective Beckett!" Alexis Castle, curled up and reading a book on the couch, glanced up as her father walked in with Kate. "I thought you were working today," she said, marking her page with her finger. Her red hair was tied in a messy knot on top of her head, and she had earbuds around her neck.

"We took the rest of the day off," he said. "I stole her from the precinct and we were going to watch a movie. Want to join us?" Alexis looked from Kate to Castle, standing closer than usual, and stood up with a sly look.

"No, I'll let you two have your date alone," she said shrewdly, smiling. She climbed the stairs swiftly and quietly. "Have fun, you two," she called back. "Don't have too much fun."

Castle watched her leave with a look of adoration. "She is more like an adult than I am sometimes," he said.

Kate rolled her eyes. "I don't find that hard to believe." Rick gasped in mock-hurt and nudged her with his shoulder.

"Okay, Miss Smarty-pants, choose a movie," he said, waving his hands at his vast DVD collection. "I have tons of...everything." Kate sat on his couch and waved for him to choose himself.

"Are you still angry with me for eavesdropping on your conversation?" he asked. He collapsed on the couch next to Beckett and together they stared at the blank screen of the television. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"No," she said softly. "It wasn't like you called and tried to eavesdrop." She looked up. "But if you had, rest assured, I would have found out and you would be drawn and quartered."

"True," he replied quickly. "I should actually earn points for that, don't you think?"

Beckett smirked at him and kissed his cheek. "No."

"Damn."

Castle pushed himself off the couch to scour the DVD stands again. "Okay, so...comedy, thriller...?" Kate didn't respond, and he turned around. "Come on, you've got to help me out here!" he exclaimed.

She was staring at her phone.

"What?" he asked. "Kate, what?"

"I just got a text from Will," she said, rereading the text.

"So?"

"So, this is all it said," she held up the phone to Castle. All it read was "51st and Lex. SOS. 911"

"First date, ruined," he mumbled, picking up his jacket.

"Oh, get over it," she retorted, grabbing her phone. "Let's just go."

She marched to the door and held it open, waiting impatiently for him to follow. When he just stared at her, frowning like a small child, she sighed and walked back to him, wrapped her hand in his, and pulled him along behind her. He smiled and followed obediently, locking the door to his loft behind him. "Love you Alexis!" he called through the door.

KBRCSKNF

They pulled up to the building in the falling darkness, and Kate immediately bounded out of the car, her gun drawn. "Castle, stay in the car," she commanded, looking left and right with the precision she was taught at the academy. "Please."

"You're going into unknown territory in the dark without a vest, and you don't know what you're about to walk into," he replied. "Like hell I'm staying behind."

"I said please!" she exclaimed.

"I almost lost you once, Kate," he said, reaching for her over the hood of the car. "I'm not letting you go in there by yourself."

"Castle, you are unarmed! I can't have you in there without protection."

"I have you," he said. "And nothing has ever happened to me before."

Beckett shook her head and raised her gun toward the rusted door in front of her. "Fine, but stay behind me," she said. She pushed the door open with her hip and balanced on one foot so Castle could sneak inside behind her. The warehouse was startlingly empty, except for the pillars that held the building up. There was a dark shadow at the far end of the large building, and Kate motioned for Castle to follow her.

Silently, they edged along the wall to the mass in the corner. At closer inspection, Kate could see that it was Will, bound and gagged to a chair. She sent Castle forward to untie him while her capable eyes searched the rest of the floor of the building.

The first thing Castle did was remove his gag. "Get out of here, Kate!"

"What? You told me to come here," she said, without turning her back.

"It's a trap, get out now!"

"We're not leaving without you," she kept her eyes moving, her gun raised.

"Kate," Castle said. "Turn around."

She paused. "What? Why?"

His voice was clipped. "Just turn around."

She slowly pivoted; her gun still raised, and was once again looking down the barrel of a gun. She grimaced, and lifted her hands, dropping her gun to the ground. Castle was being strong-armed into a kneeling position and Will was still tied, though his gag was being replaced.

"Get her out of here," a large man growled to the man holding a gun at Kate. "I just want them."

"Don't touch me," she growled at the man who reached for her arm, wrenching it away. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Kate, go," Castle said, struggling against the other man holding him. "Just get out of here."

"No, Castle," she wrenched her arm out of the man's and raised her fists in a self-defense position. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Kate!"

All she felt was a blinding pain in the back of her head and everything went black. She was only in the sinking darkness for a few seconds before she felt someone pick up her body and carry it out. She struggled to make her body move, but she remained still. She heard her car door open, felt herself being pitched in and hit her head on the ceiling.

The door slammed behind her, catching her ankle. She felt it snap and everything flashed white with pain. She waited, limp in her car, until she heard the door to the warehouse close with a clang. She exhaled a deep breath and looked upward, trying to keep her cry of pain behind her teeth. She reached for her phone and thanked God she had put it in the waistband of her pants instead of her pocket. It was still there.

She dialed Esposito. He picked up on the second ring, sounding alert. "Yo."

"Hey, we need backup at 51st and Lex, now," she said quietly through her teeth. "And make sure an ambulance is on the way too."

"Beckett, what's going on?"

She opened her mouth to answer when the warehouse door was kicked open and Castle was dragged outside. There was no sign of Will. The man holding the door open locked eyes with Beckett, on her phone, and came her way.

"I have to go, just do it. NOW."

The man wrenched open the door before she had a chance to hang up, and dragged her out of the driver's seat by her hair. "Let me go!" she shouted, limping after him, her hands over his, trying to loosen his hold.

She could hear Esposito from the phone calling her name, and before she could stop him, the man holding her had kicked it out of the driver's seat and stomped on it, ending the call permanently.

He pulled her upright and the hand that was in her hair went to her neck. She lifted her hurt ankle so she was balanced on one. There was no way she could make an escape like this. Even if she managed to get him off balance, she had no way to defend herself and nowhere to run. And Castle was across the alley, in the same situation.

"Kate? I thought they were letting you go!" he yelled to her. The man holding him slammed the hilt of the knife he was holding into his back, and he roared in pain.

"Shut up, you," he growled.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You'll be okay, I promise."

"Lady cop called for backup," the accomplice called across the alley. "We need to get gone, now."

The man holding Castle froze, then dragged Castle forward as he moved closer to Kate. "Now, how are we going to punish you, pretty?" he asked, leaning toward Kate, smiling sinisterly. "Gun shot? A nice little scar to tell your children about?" he held up his knife, and it gleamed menacingly in the light. "Maybe we'll just...use our hands..." he touched the side of her face softly, and Castle clenched his jaw.

"Get away from her!"

The man stopped, and looked down at Castle. "Looks like the man's a little sweet on you," he said, as if Kate didn't know. "How adorable." He pressed the knife against Castle's throat. "Shut up." The tiniest whimper escaped Kate as a drop of blood surfaced on the skin near his throat. The man holding the knife looked like he just hit the jackpot.

"And you're sweet on him too, aren't you?" he asked. He paused, thinking, and smiled. "I have a brilliant idea. Hold her tight now, she's about to struggle."

"What are you going to do to her?" Castle asked.

"Oh, nothing, pretty boy, it's what we're going to do to you," the man said, leaning close to Castle.

"No!" the word erupted from her mouth before she could stop it, and the man smirked.

"Watch and learn, little lady."

Kate remembered the frightened squeal Castle used to make when he was startled, and she remembered making fun of it. But this sound was different. It was guttural and painful to hear. The knife disappeared into his side and reappeared, shining red. She screamed with him and they fell as one, onto their knees, Castle clutching his side, Kate calling his name.

Everything seemed muted. Kate couldn't hear anything. She could just watch as he pulled his hand away, covered in blood. She could just watch as the man wiped the knife clean of blood on the thigh of his pants and release Castle, letting him fall unrestrained to his hands and knees. She could just watch as the blood started dripping from the wound.

Red and blue flickered before her eyes and the two men bolted, leaving Kate and Castle on the ground.

She felt warmth on her cheeks and realized she was crying.

She crawled toward Castle, dragging her broken ankle behind her, and struggled to reach him. His chest was rising and falling, struggling to take in air.

She cradled his head on her lap and interlocked her fingers with his own bloody ones.

Her hearing kicked in, and she doubled over from the sheer pain of it all. The sirens, her sobs, Castle's breathing, the sounds of the EMTs that were trying to get to them in time. Esposito trying to catch two men by himself.

He came around the corner and stopped dead. Castle's eyes, drifting closed, locked on to Kate's and she clenched her hand tighter around his.

"Stay with me, Castle, please," she cried. "Please."

"EMT's are here, Beckett, he's going to be okay!" Esposito called. He looked at the blood pooling on the ground. "Shit, shit, shit."

"Castle, please," she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his softly. She could just barely feel him kiss her back. When she pulled away, his eyes didn't open. "No. No, Rick, please," her voice cracked. An EMT knelt beside her and one grabbed her by the arms to pull her away.

"Ma'am, can you tell us what's wrong with you? Are you injured?" the one tending to her asked.

"Just save him, I'll be fine," she replied. They were loading him up on a stretcher, wheeling him toward an ambulance. "I want to go with them."

"Ma'am we have to check you out first."

"I'm fine, I have to go with them," Kate stood and hobbled her way to Esposito. "Help me to the ambulance."

"Kate, your ankle is broken," he said quietly. "You need to get in your own ambulance."

"Javi, please, take me to Rick."

The use of both of their first names seemed to spur him and he lifted her off her feet, following the stretcher close behind. "She's going with you. Check her out at the hospital," he said, placing her gently on the bench beside the stretcher. She winced as her ankle touched the floor and pulled it up to her chest.

"Want me to take a look at that?"

She handed her ankle over to the EMT, who touched it gingerly before letting her reclaim it. "It's definitely broken, but I don't think you'll need surgery. We'll need to get back to the hospital to set it, so we can make sure that's all we need to do."

A loud beeping filled the ambulance, and Kate's head swam. "What's happening?"

"His blood pressure is bottoming out," said an EMT to another, ignoring her. "We needed to get him into surgery ten minutes ago."

"What's going on?" Kate turned to the friendly EMT, the one who had looked at her ankle.

"His lung is collapsed, and anything we do in a moving vehicle is risky."

"But if you don't do something soon..."

The man looked away, and Kate felt her stomach drop out from under her. "Oh my god...I can't breathe..."

The beeping surrounded her, pressing on her eardrums until she felt like she was going to scream. She inhaled heavily, like she had been holding a breath she wasn't aware of, and her eyelids fluttered. Gray spots covered the EMT's face as he tried to ask her if she was okay. The sound of a flat line bored into her ears and she fell into the gray, feeling like she'd never resurface.

A/N: SORRY!


	11. Caged Animals

A/N: Sorry! I'm sorry! Okay, I used to do cliffhangers a lot in my other fics, like when I did Harry Potter and Grey's Anatomy ones, but I haven't really done it much for Castle, until now. Apologies. But, as you know, Castle will be fine. And of course, I have a plan! Have no fear!

Disclaimer: Give me Nathan Fillion or Stana Katic and I would be fine.

Chapter Eleven: Caged Animals

Kate Beckett woke up on a soft bed, much like the one she had grown to hate when she had been in the hospital last. Her broken ankle was in a cast, and an IV was in her arm. She stared at it in confusion, wondering why it was there, when everything came crashing down on her. Castle had been stabbed. He had flat lined, right next to her. She had passed out in the ambulance. As she recounted the events, she shimmied out of the sheets she had been wrapped in and was glad to see she was still wearing her bloodstained tee-shirt and jeans. She hopped her way down the hall until she found an unoccupied wheelchair.

She lowered herself into it and wheeled her way to the waiting rooms, knowing for sure that someone was bound to be there. She found Esposito in the first one she tried. He spotted her immediately and ran over to her, his face creased with worry.

"Beckett, what are you doing out of bed?" he asked. "You're supposed to be sleeping." He grabbed the back of her wheelchair and started to wheel her back to her room. She planted her good foot on the ground and Esposito almost pitched himself over the front of the chair.

She waved him off. "I'm fine. Where's Castle?" He kneeled in front of her chair.

His eyes were downcast. Her heart seized, and her breath caught in her throat. "No, no, no, Esposito. Don't look at me like that. Where is he?" She grabbed his wrists tightly, digging her nails into his skin. He hissed, shaking his head.

"He's still in surgery," he said. "It's all up in the air right now. The knife punctured a hole in his lung, and it collapsed on the ride over. They're trying to patch him up right now."

She exhaled, and her whole body curved inward. "Have you called Alexis?"

He shook his head. "I just got here a few minutes ago. I've been processing your boy down at the station. Mike Wilks, we got him, but he was only your accomplice. The guy who stabbed Castle is still out there." Kate clenched her jaw, and tightened her fist.

"Get an APB out on him and keep uniforms looking," she instructed. "He was Caucasian, about six foot three, 300 pounds, wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt. Has a...knife..."

"Beckett, I know," he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I need to call Alexis," she murmured. "Can I borrow your phone?"

"Why?" he asked as he fished it out of his pocket.

"Wilks smashed mine."

He handed it over and she dialed a number she had learned by heart. She held the phone to her ear and couldn't stop herself from wishing that it would just go to voicemail. But on the third ring, a sleepy Alexis answered.

"Hullo?"

"Alexis, this is Kate."

She could hear her sit up in bed. "Kate? Aren't you downstairs?"

"No, sweetheart, I'm not downstairs. I need to tell you something, okay?" Kate felt tears forming in her eyes, and Alexis seemed to have heard them.

"What happened? Is he okay?" she asked. "Detective Beckett, please tell me he's okay."

"He was stabbed. He's in surgery right now," Kate had to cover the mouthpiece of the phone so Alexis couldn't hear her sobbing.

"But he's going to be okay, right?" Alexis's voice broke, and Kate shook her head silently. "Oh my god, please tell me he's going to be okay."

"I don't know. Just, get Martha and come down here, okay? I know he'd want to see you when he gets out," she sniffed into the phone, and heard Alexis running to her grandmother's room.

"We'll be there as soon as possible, okay?"

"Okay." She handed the phone to Esposito and laid her forehead on her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. "That is the single hardest call I have ever had to make," she whispered as Esposito put a hand on her back.

"I know, Becks. I know," he rubbed soothing circles between her shoulder blades and she let her tears soak into her jeans.

"Detectives?" a nurse, wearing surgical garb, stood awkwardly outside their circle.

Esposito and Kate looked up instantly, Kate feeling her hands go numb.

"He's in recovery. It looks like he's going to be okay. His lung was punctured, but we repaired it, and now he just needs to stay off his feet for a little while and keep himself from being overworked. Someone can go in and see him, if you like."

"That's you babygirl," Esposito nudged her. "Alexis and Martha aren't here yet, and you know he wants to see you."

"Can you hand me my purse?" she asked him. He passed her the little leather pouch she carried around and she fished out the letter she had written Castle, hidden in the lining of the purse. "I think it's time he read this."

"It's about damn time, girl," he said, putting her purse back where he found it. "Good luck."

She patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks. And thank you, for saving our asses."

"Ryan will be so pissed that he missed it," Esposito commented, smiling as she was wheeled away by the nurse.

He was attached to so many wires. Kate felt her heart hurt when she saw him, and wondered if that was how he felt when he first saw her after the shooting. His eyes were closed, he looked like he did when he was in the ambulance. Kate inhaled sharply, clutching her stomach.

"He should be awake soon," the nurse said, and exited, leaving Kate alone with Castle.

She watched his chest rise and fall evenly, feeling herself become more thankful each time she heard him exhale. She covered her mouth and let out a quiet sigh, wiping her eyes. He twitched, and his eyes flickered open. He looked bleary eyed and confused, but a faint smile appeared on his lips when he saw Kate.

"I was expecting a crazy Alexis, but this is just as good," he murmured. He chuckled a little, and gasped in pain. "Where is she?"

"She's on her way," Kate struggled to keep tears out of her voice. "So you'll get that soon enough." She placed her hand at the edge of the bed, and he took it, squeezing it tightly.

He took in her bandaged foot. "What happened to you?"

"Oh you know...A few bruises...a broken ankle..."

"You broke your ankle?" He looked sympathetic.

"This is so not about me, Castle. You almost died out there," she glanced at the door, made sure the nurse was gone, and hobbled out of her wheelchair, to the armchair at his bedside. "Your heart stopped beating right in front of me." She struggled to keep her voice even, but it didn't quite work.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's not your fault, it's mine. I put you in harm's way, and I shouldn't have..."

"If you're going to tell me to stop shadowing you, you're wasting your breath," he interrupted. In response, she held out the letter, smudged and edges torn from being unfolded and read so many times. He looked vaguely alarmed as he looked into her shining eyes.

"You sure?" he asked. She nodded, and he unfolded it gingerly.

She studied the rest of the room while he read the letter, staring at the ceiling, at his heart monitor, at the wires, at anything but his face. She was terrified of looking at his face. Her stomach clenched, a tight, sharp pain of nerves that hadn't hit her until now. When she heard the paper crumple again, as he folded it the way it was before, she mustered the courage to look into his eyes.

They were sparkling with unshed tears.

"Is the infamously strong Richard Castle crying?" she asked, the laughter in her voice punctuated by a sniff.

"Kate," he began. Unbidden, a sob escaped from her, and she covered her mouth and wiped her tear away. "I have a question for you."

She furrowed her brow. "Okay..."

"Katherine Beckett, Detective of the 12th precinct of New York's Finest..." he continued.

"Castle...?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

She laughed, a sound she felt like she would never make again, and another tear escaped. She heaved herself upward from her chair and hopped to his bedside to plant a fierce kiss on his lips, clutching each side of his face, trying to show him all of the anguish, pain, and then relief that she felt into that one kiss, and heard him gasp when she pulled away.

"We'll get married someday, you know that right?" she whispered, her forehead touching his.

"Katherine Beckett, I never..." he whispered back. "Do you know how long I've waited to read these words?" he pressed the letter back into her hand. "I l—,"

"No, no," she covered his mouth with her hand. "We haven't even had our first date yet. Shhh..." She kissed her hand, the one over his mouth, and retreated back to her chair.

They stayed like that, hands wrapped together, smiling at each other, drowning in cerulean blue and soft green respectively, until a worried Alexis could be heard outside the door.

"That is my dad in there, and I will be damned if you..."

"Wow, Alexis has a potty mouth," Castle observed quietly. "Looks like she is my daughter."

"Well, she's just worried about you," Kate replied, untangling her hand from his. "I think I'll let the family see you, now. I'll come by again later."

"Uh-uh," Castle leaned forward, and then back, his eyes closed. "Ouch."

"Then don't move!"

"You're not going...anywhere...missy..." he reached out his hand for her, but it was just a few inches too short of reaching her hand. "No..." he sounded like a petulant child. She smiled and returned her hand to his.

"Fine."

"Dad?" Alexis rushed into the room, Martha on her heels. "Oh my gosh, I was so scared!" She looked like she was about to jump into her father's lap, but he held out a hand to her instead.

"Please, have mercy," he pleaded. "Stab wound, don't hug me!" he raised one hand in surrender, the other still holding tightly onto Kate's.

"Dad, what happened?" she asked, taking hold of his other hand. Kate, willing to let go of his other hand so Martha could hold it, tried to let go. He tightened his hold and pulled her hand to his mouth to kiss it. Alexis narrowed her eyes at her dad, then at Kate. "What the...?"

"You two, finally!" Martha raised her hands to heaven and kissed her son on the forehead. "I'm glad you're okay, dear."

"Dad, what happened?" Alexis asked. "With all of it..." she smiled at Kate, and turned her blue eyes on her father, suddenly stern. "Spill."

Her father filled in the story, with appropriate gasps and sighs coming from his captivated audience. Surprisingly enough, Kate found he did not embellish the story even a little bit, and left out the letter when he spoke about the two of them. She squeezed his hand in thanks, and he smiled in her direction, showing her that he understood her message.

"It's about time," Martha said again. "I'm happy for you two. So does that mean we'll see you around the loft more often?"

Kate glanced at Castle who smiled at her. "It's all up to her, when the time is right," he murmured.

"Castle...that's not what they meant..." she whispered, her face turning pink.

Alexis smiled, but soon her face was back to its worried state. "Well, how do you feel, dad? Do you need more pillows, because I can bring some from home, and I can stay home from school tomorrow and keep you company, and sneak you in some good food..." she glanced over her shoulder to see if there was a doctor coming.

"That won't be necessary, sweetie, Kate will be here tomorrow at least," he said. "She's off her feet for a while, anyway."

"What happened to you?" Alexis asked in concern.

"Just a broken ankle," she held up her foot as proof. "Nothing as serious as your dad, so I'll be just fine."

"And the guy who did it?"

Kate paused. "He's still out there...but we'll know soon enough."

Castle shot upward, then slowly eased himself down, whimpering. "Kate, what about...Will?"

She felt her feet go cold, and she let go of his hand to hop back to her wheelchair. "Esposito!" she called as she tried to maneuver her way out of the room. She almost ran over Alexis's toes, and let Martha wheel her to the waiting room. "Thank you," she whispered.

"What's up, Becks? Everything go good?" he smiled and winked at her, but her face must have looked troubled, because his smug look slid right off. "What?"

"Where's Will?"

His face went slack. "Kate, I...I thought you knew..."

"Thought I knew what?"

He swallowed. "Will is dead."

"What?" she leaned back in her wheelchair, and covered her eyes. "I don't understand..."

"We found his body in the warehouse, still tied up. Multiple stab wounds," he rattled off. "Looked like he hadn't been dead an hour when we got there."

"That's because we were hostages with him," Kate said. "I don't understand why he would keep Castle and kill Will."

"Well, we got an APB out on your boy, so hopefully we'll catch them tomorrow. In the meantime, get some sleep, okay?" In a daze, Kate nodded her head, and let him wheel her back to her room, across the hall from Castle's. She let him lift her into the bed and he pulled the sheets around her, letting her settle in, even though she was still in her jeans and shirt.

"I talked to the nurse, and she said they just want to make sure you won't go into shock. You're free to go in the morning. And I told them you would appreciate it if you got to stay in your clothes and not a hospital gown," Esposito smiled at her, and kissed her forehead.

"Call Lanie and tell her what happened if you get the chance," she murmured, sleep already itching at her eyelids. "Please."

"Will do, boss," she heard him say as she settled into sleep. His face blurred before her and was replaced with the man who had stabbed Castle. Wilks's boss. She gasped and leaned over to call a nurse, all the while lifting her good leg to aim a kick at his chest. He grabbed her by the knee and turned her leg all the way to the left. She felt the tell-tale snap and screamed loud in pain. The hallway outside was deserted.

He leaned backward and smiled, watching her arch her back as she tried to put her knee cap back to where it belonged. She clenched her hands in tight fists around the sheets and gasped, letting tears run down her cheeks. She looked up, out to the previously empty hallway, to see blood pooling in the room across the hall.

Castle. She vaulted herself to the floor in the now empty hospital room and tried to pull herself upward, but she had no healthy leg to support herself on. She dragged herself, legs trailing, across the hall, and felt her hands touch blood. She gagged, and pulled herself up to his bed.

The knife was sticking out of his chest. Kate clutched at it, but when she reached, she lost her footing and went down again, tasting blood in her mouth. She sobbed, took a deep breath, and pulled upward again. She yanked the knife out of his chest and dropped it on the ground. His lips were tinged blue, his eyes closed. She clutched his face, waiting for his eyes to open, his mouth to curve upward, his voice to startle her again. But nothing happened.

"Castle," she cried, lowering her face to his cold neck.

"Kate! Kate!" someone was pulling on her shoulder. "Kate, wake up!"

She shot upward, gasping for air, tears streaming down her face. "Where's Castle?"

Lanie grabbed her hand. "He's right across the hallway, girl. He's fine. He's asleep. You were having a nightmare."

She glanced at Lanie, feeling like a caged animal. "R...really?"

"He's fine. You were kicking and crying and calling his name."

Kate covered her eyes, sighing heavily. "I saw him dead. With a knife in his chest."

Lanie stood up and held out her arms. "I have an idea. Come here." Kate, with a confused face, stood and let Lanie support her all the way to Castle's room. She sat her in the armchair and held up her hand to tell her to wait. She came back with two blankets and a pillow. She made up the two chairs and the wheelchair into a makeshift bed. It even looked passably comfortable when she was done with it.

"There you go," she opened her arms wide, and Kate hugged her. "So you let him read the letter, huh?"

Kate blushed. "Yeah."

Lanie patted her on the back. "Good girl," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well."

A/N: Ta-da! Thank you guys for responding to my previous Author's Note. Sometimes, my friends are stupid. And even though I'm dealing with a lot of friend and family drama, I know I can count on you guys. So thanks!


	12. Reunited

A/N: Okay, this lovely Author's Note is specifically to Bella Paige, although it could pertain to everyone. If you have read a chapter and you think of a song that goes with it, send it to me in your review! Bella Paige almost always does this, and now I have a nice little Caskett playlist going on my iTunes. So, if you want to add to it, let me know! Okay, and thanks for all the reviews, guys, you're wonderful!

Disclaimer: Nahhh, I wish.

Chapter Twelve: Reunited

Richard Castle woke up the next morning to a nurse checking his heart rate and Kate Beckett asleep a few feet away. She twitched in her sleep and her lips parted slightly, and Castle found himself smiling at her sleeping form. He settled back into his pillows and watched her breathe in and out rhythmically. A few minutes of silence passed before her eyelids fluttered open. She yawned and groaned, cracking her neck, and caught Castle watching her.

"Are you watching me sleep, you creep?" she asked playfully, but the playfulness sounded forced. If anything, she looked exhausted, and her eyes were red-rimmed.

"If I had seen anything more beautiful, I would watch that," he replied, trying to make her poke fun at him. When she didn't, he tilted his head sideways in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked. Kate, staring off into space, didn't answer.

"Dad!" Alexis flounced into the room, dressed to the nines in her school uniform, her grandmother by her side. "How do you feel?"

"Sore," her father replied truthfully. "But all in all, better than dead." Kate blanched, but he wasn't looking. "Off to school?"

Alexis looked out the door, left and right, and smiled. "I brought you both a bear claw, from your favorite place on 5th," she pulled the white bag out of her backpack, and passed them discreetly to her father. "I figured the food is so gross here, so you might as well have someone willing to sneak food in for you."

Castle passed a bear claw to Kate, who held it in her hands delicately without taking a bite. Alexis excused herself to go to school and Martha followed, saying something about going shopping on Castle's tab. He shrugged and let her go, licking his fingers clean of bear claw. He turned back to Kate, who was still holding it in her hand, staring into space.

He snapped his fingers at her. "Hey, zombie, come here," he said kindly, motioning for her to wheel closer. She rolled toward him, and he grabbed both of her hands. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Don't try telling me nothing's wrong."

"I had a nightmare last night," she mumbled. "The guy who stabbed you came here and broke my other leg, and then disappeared. And then I found you, stabbed and dead right across the hall from me," her voice shook and she removed her hands from his to wipe her eyes. "Lanie moved me here last night after I woke up."

"Well, it's bound to happen, right?" Castle tried to reassure her. "Nightmares? I mean, it was traumatic."

"You didn't have nightmares," she pointed out.

"I was drugged," he replied. "Wait, I think I know what this is about..."

"Probably about you being stabbed and flat lining right in front of me, but by all means, make up a story, since you do that so well," Kate snapped, leaning back in her wheelchair.

"I'm not making this up, Kate. You feel weak. You have a fairly minor injury, though I'm not undermining the pain, and now you're having nightmares. And when you saw me sleeping soundly, you felt weak. You felt like you were the one that was cracking under the strain, and it pains you to be the one who needs someone. You don't like to need people, and I get that. But you're going to need people in your life sometime. And I would like to be one of them."

Kate rolled backward and tried to maneuver her way out the door. "I'm going back to my room."

"Kate! Get back here!" Castle pressed the 'call nurse' button on the side of his bed. "Nurse! I have a runaway!"

"Castle, stop bothering people!" Kate called back on her way across the hall. "Don't bother," she told the nurse speed-walking to his room. "He's being an idiot again."

KBRCSKNFKBRCSKNF

"Esposito, have we gotten anything on our suspect yet?" the captain asked Esposito, who held up a finger as he finished his call. He slammed the receiver on the cradle and buried his head in his hands.

"Nothing, sir. We're working on it...or rather, I'm working on it."

"What do you have so far?" he asked. "Any leads on this mystery man?"

"Well, I've been looking into Wilk's life since he was divorced, but I haven't dug much up. Apparently he quit his job, secluded himself in his house, and when he emerged next, he was killing guys who looked like the one banging his wife," he rubbed is eyes with the heels of his hands.

"You'll find something," the captain said, clapping him on the back.

"I won't let him get away with this, sir," Esposito said. "Mark my words."

"When does Ryan get back?" Montgomery asked, leaning against his desk.

"Now!" came the all too familiar voice of Kevin Ryan. "So apparently, I've missed a lot." He was sporting his usual light blue shirt and black jacket over jeans, looking supremely happy for someone who must have cut their honeymoon short just to come back to work.

Esposito jumped up and hugged his partner. "Damn right you have! Why did you come back early?"

"Have you seen the paper? Castle's stabbing is on the front page." He held up a copy of the paper and slammed it down on the desk. "Now when were you guys going to tell me?" he asked angrily. "I would have been back here in a heartbeat. No one messes with us, okay?"

"Dude, it's your honeymoon," Esposito reasoned.

Ryan shrugged. "Jenny understood. In fact, when she showed me the paper, she practically packed my bag. She understands the family we have here, and she wanted me to be able to help protect it. So tell me what you've got," He threw himself into his chair, rolling past his desk. He smiled sheepishly and shuffled back.

"Okay, well this guy, Wilks, was a serial, right? Well, he only goes after guys who look like the one his wife cheated on him with. Makes sense so far?"

Ryan nodded.

"Well Sorenson showed up, asking for Beckett's help on the case. She agreed to help him and somehow she, Castle, and Sorenson all ended up at this abandoned warehouse, where they were all hostages. Sorenson and Castle both fit the MO. They tried to make Beckett leave. When she called for backup, they hauled her out of her car to make her watch Castle die."

"Those bastards," Ryan growled.

"Luckily, she got a call off to me first, and we were there pretty fast and took Wilks down."

"What about Sorenson?"

Esposito blinked and shook his head. "He went down like the other victims of Wilks. Castle would have too, if we hadn't gotten there in time."

"And Beckett?"

"Broken ankle, shattered pride," Esposito smiled. "She'll be fine. But right now she's keeping vigil at Castle's bedside," he made kissy sounds and Ryan immediately perked up.

"What did I miss?"

"So much, bro. So much," Esposito clapped him on the back as his phone rang. "Give me a second and I'll fill you in on that, too."

KBRCSKNFKBRCSKNF

"Kate! KAAAATTTEEEE!"

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle won't stop yelling your name," Melanie, the nurse who was redressing the scrape on Kate's arm, felt the need to inform her. "The other nurses are considering taking him off pain medication until he stops talking."

"I wish I could make him stop talking," Beckett muttered. "I'll go talk to him. Tell the nurses to stand down, for at least five minutes." She smiled at Melanie, who thanked her.

"Your arm looks pretty healthy, Detective. Your ankle, on the other hand, will take a few weeks to heal. It's only fractured, but a few weeks off of it is at least what you need. Don't overexert yourself, okay?"

"Well, you just told me to go talk to Castle, Melanie! You're contradicting yourself," Beckett smiled. "But thank you. I'll do that."

Melanie laughed and wheeled Beckett across the hall, leaving her alone in Castle's room. He sat up straight when he saw her, and eased himself back down, his hand on his side. Beckett watched him, her head tilted to the side, a small smile on her face. "You're going to pop a stitch," she informed him, staying in the doorway.

"I'm glad you came back," was his response.

"Yeah well, the nurses were talking about withholding meds from you until you shut up so I figured I should come help your well-being."

"You just wanted to see me," Castle chided. "Admit it."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Not."

"Beckett, I have a teenage daughter and my mother in the same house, you will not win this one," Castle said.

"Yeah well, I'm not exactly in the best mood, so I don't think I would let you win," she retorted. "The guy who stabbed you is still out there, and I can't do anything about it."

"Well, Esposito will find something, I have no doubt," he answered reassuringly. "Besides, you caught Wilks, Will has to be happy about that, right?"

Beckett looked down at her lap. "Well, I wouldn't know..." she was surprised to feel her eyes sting and watched her eyesight blur.

"What do you mean you wouldn't know...?" Castle asked, sounding alarmed. "Kate, look at me, what happened?"

"Will is dead."

Castle stumbled. "What? Dead? Wilks killed him?"

"Right after they pulled you into the parking lot. Esposito found his body," Beckett nodded, keeping her eyes downcast. She discreetly whipped her eyes with the back of her hand. She heard the sheets rustle and looked up to see Castle trying his hardest to untangle himself from the wires to get closer to her.

"Castle, what are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm trying..." he grunted, holding his side, "to give you a hug."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because you're upset, but you're all the way over there, and I'm...well, all the way over here."

Kate squinted at him. "You couldn't just ask me to come closer?"

Castle looked relieved. "Would you?"

Kate smiled and pushed the lock on her wheelchair and stood up, hovering her foot about two inches off the ground. She hobbled all the way to Castle's good side and sat on the edge of the bed. He held up his arm and she lowered herself into his arm, so they were lying together on the small uncomfortable bed. She laid her head gingerly on his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

"You know, you're the strongest person I know," he whispered into her hair. She glanced up into his soft blue eyes and kissed the smile on his face.

"I love you."

KBRCSKNFKBRCSKNF

"She dumped Josh? In front of everyone? She made out with Castle at MY wedding? How...how...why...why did I miss this?" Ryan leaned back on his chair and locked his arms behind his head.

"You were with Jenny, bro, it's understandable," Esposito said, pushing Ryan's chair back.

"Dude, I can't believe I missed it. Wait," he slammed his booted feet down on the floor. "The letter?"

"She let him read it."

Ryan pumped his fist in the air. "Yes!"

"Unfortunately, we still don't know what it says," Esposito said.

"What?"

"Yeah, it was right after he got out of surgery," he paused. "But...she's only there for a few more days. We could go with Lanie to take her clothes and stuff. And then you can question her there. Surprise her, you know?"

Ryan smiled. "Call Lanie."

A/N: Sorry this took me longer than usual. My writing fuel just kind of fizzled out.


End file.
